Criticizing others not only creates bad feelings, it isn’t a good way to get people to change. It’s a fact that animals can be trained much faster if they’re rewarded for each correct attempt rather than being punished each time they fail. This principle holds true for people, too. We improve our performance faster with praise than with criticism.
It seems to be a law of human behavior that how we act is contagious. In other words, if we are kind to others in our family, we receive kindness in return. It’s also true that our usual response when someone criticizes us is to criticize them in return. In families, it is especially important that we avoid the vicious cycle of criticism which always hurts relationships.
Expressing appreciation is not difficult. It requires making the effort to notice the positive things that happen, and telling the person involved how you feel about it.
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