Integrity, Authenticity, and ego. For this episode, I would like to cover. What is, integrity? Integrity, didn't cross my radar. Until I completed the landmark forum. For more information on that check out my previous episode number 14 Releasing the past and learning a new language with Landmark.
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But what I learned about integrity, was that commitment was a big part of it. commitment was massive for me, because what I learnt that that I hadn't really committed to anything in my life, for a long, long time. Since I came to that realization, a good year and a half ago now.
But I've really been consciously, making an effort to keeping my integrity, and making a commitment, not only to others in my life, but projects, my business, my work, but also making a commitment to myself. And that's why I feel like, integrity, commitment, authenticity and ego, are all interrelated really. It's something that I wanted to explore all together in this episode because I feel like you can't have one conversation without the other.
So What is integrity? Integrity is keeping your word. Integrity is all about the relationship between what we say and what we do.
Too often, in this day and age, and in the society that we live in. People say one thing and do the complete opposite. Look at our politicians for a wonderful example of, lack of integrity. So here in Australia, probably in most countries. It is not often that our leaders, our elected officials actually do what they say. The way that our politics works here in Australia is we are meant to have a democracy, which is debatable if that’s the reality. But to be elected, you share with the public, what you believe in, what you value. And you make a promise, or it's a it's a goal or an achievement. These people are wanting to be elected, so that they can achieve something. And they will state in their political campaign to be elected, what it is that they are promising to us. If you vote for me. I will do this. And what happens is once these officials have been voted in. They don't do what they set out to do. Sometimes, even their whole values are completely changed. There's a real dishonesty, that is nowadays is expected. We elect politicians, and then we expect them to disappoint us. We've lost trust in our leadership. And this is not only within politics. And this could be part of why this is a collective problem, because our elected officials are not leading by example.
The definition of a leader is a person who leads or commands a group or country. So if leaders are acting, or behaving or living a particular way. That's often setting the culture for the rest of the country. This is the same within families. If the head of the family has a lack of integrity, or commitment, or authenticity. There's a ripple effect at on the others. But what I'd like to share today in this episode is that that doesn't need to happen anymore. And the more of us that stand in our own integrity. The more power we hold to change this culture that we all live in. I don't want to live in a world that lacks integrity.
In the landmark forum, we have a conversation around the people in history that do what they say. So just have a think now, of someone in history that did what they said they would set out to do. And upon reflection, there really isn't many. Look at who you admire, it could be anyone, anyone famous, anyone in your life who sets out with a goal of something that they want to achieve. I honestly do struggle to look up to people, to be really honest. It is really hard for me to really think about people who are walking their talk. There really isn't many. And especially since so much has come to light, about the people in the limelight. We know the truth about so much now. Another thing I want to mention is there are even spiritual teachers that have connections to these elites, so please use your discernment, do not blindly follow. Unless they can show they are living in their integrity. People in power, people with money, they often say they are wanting to help people, but really that’s a flat out lie, or ask who are they wanting to “help”. There are plenty of horrible people that are completely honest about their motives. Look at Hitler, he didn’t cover up anything that he was doing, even now take Bill Gates for an example. He opens shares his goals to decrease the population growth, and he’s achieving that. I would love to see more people rising to their power to do something good. Even who I have on this podcast are people I believe in, people who are doing great, things for us as a collective, and not just to put themselves on a pedestal.
We are the future. And we're changing our future every day. That's the thing about the future. It legit changes every day, every choice every decision that we make. We have free will. So the future changes every day.
But the future that I want to create and the reality that I want to create is one of integrity, one where we do what we say. The thing about doing as we say, is that we need to work out what we really want to do. So, to work out what you really want to do you actually really need to know and understand yourself.
To know and understand yourself requires a deep level of reflection. And for women, this is a cycle that we are supposed to go through every month, we are supposed to take this time to reflect every single month. And I'd like you to ask yourself, do you take this time to reflect? Are there people in your life that take this time to really, truly reflect on themselves?
Now reflecting on yourself. And the things that happen in your life is not by talking about them. Sometimes people think that by catching up with a friend and going over what they've been up to, is a form of reflection, but this is not. Deep reflection requires meditation, journalling, and mindfulness. Yoga is another practice that can really help you understand yourself, not just in the physical, but in the spiritual sense. I've had many light bulb moments during yoga class. It's essential to take this time to reflect every month. And if you can, every day. Even creating that mindfulness practice, whether it is journalling, morning pages or a mind dump. Creating that practice that you can connect to yourself every single day. How do you connect to yourself every single day? For mothers, this can be really tough. And I know for me, I've made this a priority to connect with myself every single day. And yet, even though it's my priority. It's not necessarily my children's priority, or my family's priority. So, I need to make it happen every single day, otherwise it won't. It is completely, my responsibility to ensure that I take that time to connect to myself every single day. And this is the only way that you can know and understand yourself. This is not something that you do for a period of time, and then you suddenly know yourself. We change and we evolve every day. We're transforming, we're growing every single day. I hope you are growing every day. There's a beautiful quote. Don't try and know me as I was yesterday, know me for who I will be tomorrow.
This is the essence of transformation, that we experience and go through every single day. Ensure that you are taking that time to reflect on yourself and doing things like programs and workshops, women's circles. These are all ways that you can go deeper into yourself, peel back the layers and get to the core of yourself. To have integrity requires true authenticity. So, when you experience moments when you are out of your integrity. When you've said that you will do something. And then, you've done something completely different. This is when you are not living authentically. Because if we truly want something, we will make it happen. And drug uses are an incredible example of this. No matter what, they will make that happen. They will find resources, they will go through great lengths to get that drug, because they want it so badly. Now I'm not saying that we should all go out there and get an addiction. What I'm saying is that we need to tune into our true desires. So, if you say that you're going to be somewhere, ask yourself; Do you truly want to be there? When we are invited to something, when we are asked to do something. We know the answer, if we want to or not, straightaway. Your body answers for you, straight away before your mind has the chance to contemplate or weigh up the options.
An example of this is in the landmark forum. They say you've got two options. You have chocolate ice cream or vanilla ice cream. Choose. And you need to choose. And then you need to explain why you chose. And I don't want to give the answer away here because I would really love for you to experience The landmark forum. I've mentioned this in a whole episode, because I believe in it so much. But I wanted to focus on integrity, commitment, authenticity in this episode. I do believe that the shadow aspect of this is ego. Which they say there is no ego in landmark, but they just don't use that word, there definitely is Ego.
So, connecting to your body is another essential aspect of this. Using your body as a pendulum, helping you make your choices. Because the body really knows what we want.
So there's a few examples I want to share. Say for example, you've been invited to a party. You'll know if you want to go or not. You will know instantly. If you don't want to, say no. If saying no is something that's really hard for you then that's something that you need to work on. But no, is so powerful. If you're not ready to feel into the power of No, then you need to say, I will let you know. Instead of Yes, I will go and then change your mind. That is not keeping your integrity. Integrity is very plain and simple. It is doing as we say. If we say we're going to do something, you need to do it. And this is a challenge in itself because the fact is, sometimes we're invited to a party. And at that time, we do want to go. But when it comes to the night. You just feel like staying home, right? You are still out of your integrity if you don't go. And this is the need to create radical transparency. If you know yourself, then you will know that sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just want to stay home, and that's what you need to say to your friend who's invited you to a party.
You need to say, Yeah, right in this moment, I really want to go. But I know that I might change my mind later. So, can I be a maybe?
Do not tell people that you're going to be somewhere. And then change your mind. It is no different to making a huge promise, as a politician, and then changing your mind once you get in power. It's about consistency. It's about being consistent in who you are, and living your life as your authentic self. As I mentioned before, having integrity is making a commitment. And it's making a commitment to yourself and understanding the power of your word. There is so much power that can come from giving your word. And right now, that means nothing to people. People get married, and myself included, get married, say these vows, and then get divorced. There are so many inconsistencies. We are scared as a collective to commit. Because the fact is, I never should have got married. And I never promised to be married forever. So at least I was authentic in that. But you can't give your word, and then break it. And this is over absolutely everything. Life comes up with challenges for sure. But challenge yourself. And when you challenge yourself and you show up, even though you don't want to, even though it's hard. You will learn a lesson in your authenticity. You will learn that if something's hard, then maybe it's not quite aligned to you.
And next time you're invited to something you might be more inclined to speak your truth. This is radical transparency. This is about letting go of just being nice or saying something, because you want to be nice you want to do the right thing. By letting go of this nice act, you will know yourself better. We don't want to be nice. We want to be kind, and being kind is speaking your truth, and doing what you say that you'll do, not saying something nice, and then thinking something completely different, or saying something completely different behind that person's back.
Integrity, is when someone invites you somewhere, and it starts at a particular time. Keep your integrity, and either say what time you will be there or make a fucking effort to be there on time. And when I say this, this is really freakin' hard for me. I'm a fairy and we don't believe in time, time is not a thing in the fairy realm. So, this whole time thing is a really hard commitment to make sometimes. So often, I will say that I might be late or let people know, and be radically transparent and speak your truth and say you find it hard to be on time to things, and I apologize for that. And I'm going to make my biggest effort to get there as soon as I can. Having integrity is messaging someone saying that you'll be late.
Having integrity is when you commit to something. It's about committing to a project or a program. If you sign up for something that is four sessions long, be there to every session. There's something in every session for you. The feminine does love to ebb and flow and be free and fluid. So, this is quite a masculine aspect to commit to something, and be there, regardless of how you feel. Show up every single time. Keep your integrity. If you commit to something, you commit to it. And as I mentioned, if that's hard for you, then you might need to rethink committing to four week, workshops, if you can't show up there every time. And when you don’t keep your integrity, take responsibility. Apologize. And apologizing is not creating excuses. It's saying the truth. Being radically transparent and saying, This isn't quite for me, or, or maybe I have an issue with commitment. Being consistent is hard, and keeping your integrity is hard, and living authentically is really freakin hard. That's why not many people do it. But the age that we're moving into moving in 2021. Anyone who's without their integrity is going down. All of these systems that have said one thing, that have promised one thing. All that truth is coming out. And that's why we have a global issue, all the problems that we have is part of a lack of integrity. You can't lie in 5D. That's not a thing. It's impossible to not speak your truth. And that's what I want to create moving into the new earth
I want to create a place where there is no such thing as lies. The shadow aspect of integrity, I believe is ego. My favorite person that I have learnt about ego from is Dr. Wayne Dyer, and I believe I've mentioned him on the podcast before and linked, some things in the show notes. But a quote from Dr. Wayne Dyer is “I look upon the ego, as nothing more than an idea that each of us has about ourselves. The ego is only an illusion, but a very influential one, letting the ego illusion become your identity can prevent you from knowing your true self.” He talks about the ego as a means of separation. The ego separates us from source. Whereas the highest-self connects us to source.
The examples that I've used before, in being invited to a party and saying yes, even though you want to say no. This is part of that ego that's coming through. People pleasing is an ego trait. So, if you're a people pleaser, and again, I can resonate. I picked up on myself wanting to be a people pleaser and wanting to be liked, even recently. So, there's absolutely no shame in that but that's definitely something that I want to overcome, because that's not my authentic self. My authentic self doesn't care what other people think of me. But it does come up still. If you are wanting everyone to like you, and you are doing things just to be nice, so that people will like you, that feeds your ego. So, if you're saying yes to a party or whatever, a job, whatever it is, in your life. You're saying yes to something when you really want to say no. That's your ego showing up. And that's your ego, running the show. The thing that I've learnt about ego in 2020, is that we actually can't get rid of our ego. For many years I thought that the more I learned about the ego, the less it would show up in my life, which is true. But at the same time, I thought I thought we could kill the ego. I thought that we could release it. I've been really drawn to the Goddess Kali, because she's all about death to the ego, or one aspect of her is. But what I've learned this year is that my ego is still showing up. And that's okay. I just need to be conscious of what is my ego.
So pretty much every time you want to react, rather than respond. That is your ego. Every time you're triggered. Every time you're offended. Every time you're self-conscious. Every time you're egotistical, every time you think that you're the best. I didn't believe that there were spiritual people out there that really thought that they are the best people in the world, or vegans that think that they're the best people in the world. If you are putting yourself on a pedestal. That is ego. And that's your shadow work. All of these examples where ego is showing up. That is a chance for you to do some work on yourself.
And that's why ego is actually so important. And we don't want to get rid of our ego. My ego told me I had no ego. It's tricky.
So, when you're not living in your integrity. When you're not committing to something. And when you're not living authentically. When you can't be transparent. That is all ego. So, again, the only way that you're going to discover this is from yourself, is by yourself, no one else can tell you. Often this is in our blind spot. So, I do, do work around the blind spot in different programs that I offer. And again, this is something that you learn from doing the landmark forum.
But there are things that we know. There are things that we know that we don't know.And there's things that we don't know, that we don't know. These are the things that are in a blind spot.
So, the ego is going to show up and teach you something. The ego is actually a really important aspect of yourself so make friends with your ego. Your ego cannot run the show though, that that's the biggest thing, is don't live your life through your ego. Because the ego is the shadow of authenticity.
You will not be living an authentic life, if you're living life through your ego. When you judge other people. When you think you're better than other people. Look at what that means to you. When we judge others. We're really judging ourselves. We are all mirrors. If there are people showing up in your life that you can't say no to, but you want to. They are your teachers, thank them.
They are so important for you. My ex husband was my biggest teacher. The people that give us our hardest lessons, are actually, the most important lessons. Do not let ego underestimate those lessons. Ask yourself where in your life are you not living within your integrity. And when you discover that, whether it's not showing up to events when you said that you would calling in sick for work when you're not really sick, being in a relationship with someone that you don't want to be with, promising yourself that you'll eat better, and then bingeing on Christmas chocolate. Signing up to a gym, and then never going. These are all examples of not living in your integrity. Really, look at your life. Pull it apart. And you will see the inconsistencies. They are a direct path to living more authentically. These inconsistencies are a direct lesson from ego. Be open to learning those lessons, and life won't be so hard.
Life can actually be really incredible. When you live with integrity. When you live an authentic life. You're living life purposely. And living life purposely, is living life powerfully.
I hope that you enjoyed this episode. I would love to hear from you. If you feel called to follow me on Instagram at spiritual AF the podcast or check out my website in the show notes, and send me an email. I love hearing from you. Let me know what you thought about this episode. Let me know if you had any light bulb moments. And if, you loved this episode. Remember to follow this podcast. And check out the episodes we release each week.
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