I may not be great at geography, but I know that I'm exactly where I need to be if shit pops off. Zombies, hurricanes, floods, and cotton-headed ninny muggins who don't like guns hold no sway here. Enjoy Buc-ee's, grab some Whataburger, visit your own kind in Austin if you feel homesick, then get the fuck out! Unless, you decide to un-cunt yourself. In which case, pick up a new AR, enjoy some brisket, and listen to some George Strait while your sip on an ice cold margarita or whisky neat. Make sure to shoot some wild boars too, because they're a major pain in the ass for the ecosystem. Look at me being all "humanitarian" and shit. This episode is dedicated to Jennifer Lawrence, the very first female action star. Thanks for paving the way. Silver Linings Playbook changed the whole game! 9-11, never forget that she was there too.
