A-S-S-H-O-L-E. That's how you spell Moon. There are lots of assholes in this world, and this week we get to cast our unique judgment on a handful of them. There will be thrills, chills, and general cunty behavior. If you ever question whether or not you're being an asshole in a certain situation, go ahead and give this a try next time. Head to the restroom, stand in front of the mirror, turn around, drop your pants and underwear, and give your brown stained calamari a good hard look. If it remains relaxed, you either are not the asshole, or you're so much of an asshole that your sphincter has become a sociopath. If your logs come out in either a Play-Doh Fun Factory ribbon or spaghetti pattern, that's a sure sign of o-ring narcissism. Also, if the eye of Sauron winks at you, that's six more weeks of asshole shenanigans. The more you know, motherfuckers! Go out there and make me proud.
