Why. It's a very easy question to ask Hashem (God). And it's also a question that you should ask. Because in today's generation with all the crazy stuff going on in our lives, we all have a lot of questions, and it seems like God himself is the only one who can answer them. So go ask him directly. He has answers, all he's waiting is for you to open up and honestly ask him the questions, and share how you feel.
And after that, you need to take everything that you understanf from the answers, and check yourself. Check what you can do now, and what to save for later. How far can you push yourself? How can you be happy with the answers you've received? This is the way you should be doing Hitbodedut in front of the creator, and this is how you will truly find yourself.
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