I hope that everyone had an uplifting Pesach. We’re now continuing Mishlei, Perek 15 which contains 33 pessukim.
The perek opens with the words “Ma’aneh rach yashiv cheima, u’dvar etzev ya’aleh aph - A gentle reply turns away wrath, but a sharp word incites anger.”
The Rabbenu Yonah explains that Shlomo Hamelech teaches here that we need to train ourselves to speak softly to others.
Psychologically speaking, beyond hearing actual spoken words, people are listening to the feelings and tones behind them. The same words can be said angrily or with soft feelings. This is what really makes the difference in being able to influence other people and to get your message heard. As the old expression goes, “It's not what you say, it's how you say it.”
Therefore, Shlomo Hamelech was saying, when your soft, calm words have the ability to diffuse upset feelings. The same words spoken in a fit of anger feeds the fire, and the listener becomes even more upset.
The perek continues to list the virtues of using words to speak truth and build people up in contrast to spreading negativity, cynicism, and complaints. The words of the wise spread knowledge. A person who seeks truth enjoys constructive criticism, while a person filled with complaints hates rebuke.
Passuk 13 says, “Lev sameach yeitiv panim, u’va’atzvut lev ruach n’cheiya - A glad heart cheers the face, but a despondent heart causes a broken spirit.”
The Radak explains that the happiness in a person's heart is apparent, radiating on his face.
I heard from Rav Shalom Arush that if you want to see if a person is shalem, at peace with God, you can tell by the smile. A person who’s always smiling shows that they’re at peace with the world around them and are happy. Happiness exudes and shines on your face.
Those whose hearts are discouraged, however, feel completely broken on the inside, that there’s no use to even try to make things better. Nothing's worked out in the past and this will continue.
If you feel discouraged with life, broken spirited, you can always pick yourself up and start again. Strengthen yourself. Force yourself to be happy and even silly. Never give up hope and praying for God's mercy to shine upon you.
This brings us to passuk 15, which says “Kol yimei ani ra’aim, v’tov lev mishteh samid - All the days of a poor man are bad, but a good hearted person feasts perpetually.”
The Vilna Gaon explains that one with a good heart constantly feels as if he’s drunk with happiness. With a good heart, everything is a reason to celebrate and be happy. One feels truly grateful for everything, valuing even the smallest of accomplishments. A person with a good heart is always at a party because everything is cause for celebration.
The perek continues to relate that a person who is happy always feels rich, but one who lacks understanding in life feels miserable. One who follows the path of Torah and truth will have great reward in the next world. Those who leave the path of truth will regret the bad choices and decisions they made along the way. Ultimately, true wisdom is fear of Hashem, while being humble is a far greater pleasure than receiving honor.
