Three bleak strategies
Oh, bleak strategies!
First time I thought
Being taller was the key
Heavy shoes, feathered hat
Allergies did not agree
Other people look shorter
When you lay them end to end
I tried standing next to them
But then I fell out of bed
First bleak strategy
Nearly was the end of me
Then it occurred to me
I ought to try to write a play
Three people, two acts, one stage
Oh, I'd make it big!
Troubled actors and director
The theatre was full inside
The seating options were affected
Restricted view must be rejected!
Two bleak strategies
All the critics must agree
Finally, I went to sea
A sailor's life - well, probably
The boat did float, the sail was high,
The sun was up, the oars was dry
I climbed aboard, I heard a shout
From along the shoreline:
'Go all the way
Around the outside!'
Third bleak strategy
Haven't got a fucking clue
Oh! Bleak strategies!
