The Joy of Ownership
I remember owning my first car. I felt liberated and rich! The world was mine and I had freedom of movement.
Whilst I’ve never owned a house, I can put myself in the shoes of those who have and can imagine just how secure and strong and safe it must feel. There is joy in ownership.
Not all ownership is equal!
On my workshops I often set myself up to be at fault about something innocuous, just to make a point. When the trap has been laid, I ask the participants, “Who is to blame?”
“It’s YOU, Lex!” they say, laughing. I agree with them and then I invite them to point at the person who is to blame and say it again! As they are pointing at me, I ask them to hold their hands in the index-finger-pointing position. You might like to have a go at that now.
The ‘reveal’ is to ask them to count the number of fingers pointing back at them from their own hand. This usually causes a joyous response around the room as the participants realise they’ve been set up for an “Aha!” moment.
I love owning stuff – most of the time – but rarely enjoy ‘owning’ problems. When we point the finger at others – something I’m really good at – we fail to own our own opportunity to be a part of the solution. The simple exercise of noticing that three fingers on our own hand point back at us when we point our index finger at others may be enough to bring about a shift in our thinking. One pointing out, three pointing back; 25% outside, 75% under our own control.
That litter on the pavement is an issue I can point to and say, “Tut! Tut! People should know better!” It can also become an opportunity where I pick it up even if I do agree that, “People should know better!”
When I remember this illustration, it encourages me to repeat a phrase I learned in training, “I OWN the problem.” When I do this, I discover that there is usually some small step I can take to improve the situation. Yesterday, I was listening to a world expert on the topic of motivation. He was ranting and raving about poor customer service, and I found myself not only agreeing with him but also thinking, “I bet I sound like that!” It wasn’t a very beautiful sound! He was right but the moaning and complaining pulled my energy down. I would like to moan less and own more – in the sense of taking more responsibility for making a difference.
“I own the problem,” is a powerful mantra, and ‘mantra’ comes from Sanskrit, literally meaning the thought behind speech or action.
“I own the problem!”
Perhaps you’d like to chant that with me now.
[Joe Polish story]
“I own the problem!”
If you ‘own’ the problem, you ‘own’ the solution as well!
If you ‘own’ the problem, you ‘own’ the opportunity to change your history!
When we cease to blame others, and focus on what part we can play, it’s like owning that first car. There’s a sense of liberation and wealth, of potency and potential. Let’s, perhaps just for today, put the key in the ignition of decision and drive our minds to somewhere better where we own the problem AND the opportunity.
[Image credit: Charles Deluvio on Unsplash]
