I saw a woman with the most big beautiful ass at Aldi in North Canton, Ohio. I would say it was perfect and I would kiss her lips every time we parted...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the Church of the Big Beautiful Ass we will have is cast in gold and place it upon the alter. Burning exotic incense and adorning it with Hindu flowers. We will pray five times a day to it. Facing north for that ass could keep you as warm as Luke Skywalker in the Tauntaun on those cold northern nights like the Beach Boys sing. If you stray from the Church of the Big Beautiful Ass you will be punished by the wrath of the Jackel Baby in a pile of snakes for eternity. We will teach and spread the word of the Big Beautiful Ass and it's wonders as we stare longingly into it's glory. We will ride around in the ass curled up as babes. Only those worthy of it's splendor will be allowed to behold it's wonder. Behold the Church of the Big Beautiful Ass. Praises and thanks!!! Spank that ass and watch it shake to the Kingdom of Heaven!!!! The Church of the Big Beautiful Ass!!!!
Peace be with you,
The Reverend Dj Lipton of the Church of the Big Beautiful Ass
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(the Church of the Big Beautiful Ass is a subsidiary of The Dinosaur Church and in part with the Jackel Baby Cult)