Dear D.J. Lipton,
The militant non-smokers and anti-disc jockey coalition will stink palm your beer. And might I add, forget that your birthday was yesterday with nary a acknowledgement. Today is Snoop Dogg's birthday and to compliment that strangers will glorify him on this day. Not unlike the poor saps who think they might 'hook-up' with an exotic dancer on their Instagram with delusional rhetoric about sex.
Regards,
Davy Jones
P.S. Feel free to join me anytime the water is great!