I am in need of an exchange of God. The current God I am working with doesn't seem to fulfill it's duties nor makes my life any more full and/or less miserable. In fact it seems to make things worse. Possibly, a God repair service but, really I need to exchange this particular God, it is malfunctioning. If you cannot help me I would like to speak to your manager and, if they cannot help me I am going to email corporate headquarters. If that doesn't work I will just sell this God on the free market and look elsewhere for a new one.
"I want a new duck." -Weird Al Yankovic