The convenient store cashier asked me how I was. I said wonderful and payed for my beer. Earlier, I thought about killing myself, because life is tedious and arbitrary. I was in a semi-joking manner, however, it does cross my mind from time to time. Making this mix snapped me out of it. Still I am at the mercy(?)of others to have a social life. On their time, not mine. It's very frustrating. Maybe I should step into the next realm. What's next?