Lyrics: Jack Frayne-Reid
Music: Paul Simon
Idea: Tim Heidecker (with the timeless 'I Am A Cuck')
I’m a dad
Who’s lost the right to see his children
But still I have my friends
Like the Tony Blair Institute
And the Brussells Bureaucrats
I’m a two-time guest on the Remainiacs
I am a melt
I am a Tory
I’m a cop
And I’ve taken down your details
Cause you just said I was too right-wing
I am a subscriber to New Statesman magazine
And my favourite Jolyon’s Jolyon Green
I am a melt
I am a Tory
Don’t talk of Jez
And especially Diane Abbott
Not that I’m racist or anything
I’m really scared of Brexit but there’s one thing I fear more
When the hard left thugs come knocking at my door
I am a melt
I am a Tory
And a melt always melts
And Corbyn supports ISIS
