PUSHING THE SELF DESTRUCT BUTTON
Whenever someone wrongs you there is a DEBT in your relationship. They owe you. “You OWE me an apology.”
“For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. But since he [c]did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made. So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’ And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt. But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred [denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’ So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’ But he was unwilling [f]and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed. So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened. Then summoning him, his lord *said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’ And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.” Matthew 18:23-35
Refusing to forgive is to push the SELF DESTRUCT button in your life.
Depression can sometimes be just anger that has been STUFFED down.
Forgiveness is not for the benefit of the OFFENDER.
Do I want to get WELL or do I want to get EVEN?
God knows that to HOLD onto that debt no matter how deep and hurtful it is, is to CHAIN every RELATIONSHIP in your life to that debt going forward.
In the shadow of your HURT you are JUSTIFIED to hold on to that debt, but in the shadow of the CROSS, we lose our right to refuse to forgive.
God hasn’t asked you to DIE for somebody; He’s asked you to CANCEL the debt.
Don’t continue to allow the people who have HURT you the most to INFLUENCE your current and future relationships. Your story EXPLAINS your behavior; it doesn’t EXCUSE it.
To forgive and forget is NOT possible.
“Their sins and their evildoing I will remember no more.” Hebrew 10:17
HOW DO I FORGIVE?
1. Identify WHO hurt you
2. Identify WHAT had been taken (what they owe you)
3. Dismiss the case – Refuse to hold that debt against them anymore
FORGIVENESS is simply a decision to cancel a debt. It is not a FEELING
4. Remind yourself the case is dismissed as OFTEN as necessary
Remember:
Emotion follows motion.
Forgiveness is NOT for them, it is FOR you.
