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If you're new to me, I'm Lauren Pace. Mom of two (one on the way). I have a Master's Degree in Child Development with research in challenging behavior. I have worked as a behavior coach online, in classrooms, and in homes.
Talking about child development & challenging behavior fires me up with so much passion and my goal is to help parents all over the world.
I love helping parents understand their children, see hard behavior through new lenses & strengthen their relationships.
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So the first thing that we learned here is all behavior is communication. We have to figure out what they're communicating by looking at the patterns, what happens before, what happens after, what's reinforcing them to do that behavior on accident, or on purpose.
Second, we have to teach the skills that they need proactively. So we can't wait until he chokes somebody with a rope or stabs someone with a pencil to try to teach them how to enter play. At that point, he's too far gone. He's in an emotionally reactive state.
And the third thing is that none of this is the child's fault. None of it. Not one time in this whole episode has I said, "This kid is so bad, we need him out of here. Like I can't control him. He needs to be gone". No, I kept trying to figure out what I needed to do to support him. It's not the child's fault. They aren't giving you a hard time. Children are having a hard time.
Understanding that all behavior is communication changed my entire life.
It did. It changed my entire life.
