1: a not so humble bard, it must be now confessed,
admitted to a witcher he was quite impressed
by the sheer damn size of the cockatrice he slew.
it was dwarfed by the girth of the cock he blewwww
.
chorus: jaskier the witcher layer loves to feel the burn
jaskier the witcher layer makes them take their turn
he'll take each cock in hand and mouth and take them harder further south
and when they're done he'll take some more until he's sticky on the floor!
.
2: jaskier's mouth was well-known as too large
but one witcher's mighty prick was the size of a barge.
he licked his whorish lips, then opened up his throat,
then swallowed down a johnson that was bigger than a boat
.
3: lo, a pack of drowners that infested a lake
gave the bard an opportunity his thirst for to slake
he posted up a contract and then bribed the village thane
and a not-unwilling witcher got a fuck for his pain
.
4: once upon a shining sunny pleasant afternoon
the bard espied his witcher with the hair bright as the moon
he knew the man was seldom pleased: an unrepentant grump
who never would be happy but for jaskier's rounded rump
.
5: a wyvern circled round a town that nestled in a valley
they sought a witcher bold to slay it 'fore it upped its tally
instead they called that saucy bard and asked him if 'twere valid
to offer, 'stead of tossing coin, to toss that witcher's salad
.
inspired by: https://greyduckgreygoose.tumblr.com/post/645497097734537216/a-farce-in-seven-acts