Throughout my teens and twenties, I let other people’s opinions dictate much of my life. I was constantly worried that people wouldn’t like me, and I compared my success to others. Caring deeply about what others thought of me led me to a dark, destructive place. As I matured, I realized that I spent far too much energy caring about opinions that really didn’t matter. Over time, with practice and much self-reflection, I learned to relinquish the need for so much external validation. Doing so opened my eyes to what’s possible. I finally started going after my dreams and creating the life I wanted. I became a more confident leader who wasn’t afraid to admit mistakes, pivot away from poor decisions, and ultimately make bold moves that transformed our company and industry.
And that’s what this week’s episode of Reflect Forward: Advice From a CEO is about. How to let go of the need for external validation. How to stop letting other people’s opinions dictate your life. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for feedback or understand your impact on others. Self-awareness is a critical leadership trait; you should value the opinions of the people you work for and with. But far too often, we don’t go after our dreams and live our best lives because we worry, we will be disliked, judged or shunned for our life decisions. And this is a path to an unfulfilling life.
It’s essential to understand that people’s opinions of you do not reflect your worth. Just because someone doesn’t like you or disagrees with your choices doesn’t mean you are less valuable or deserving of love and respect. It’s important to remember that everyone is entitled to their opinions and beliefs, but that doesn’t mean they are valid.
If you’re constantly worrying about what others think of you, it can be a significant source of stress and anxiety and can make it challenging to be yourself so you can pursue your passions and goals. You may find yourself changing your behavior or beliefs to please others, which can ultimately lead to unhappiness and dissatisfaction.
Caring too much about what others think of you can hold you back from taking risks and trying new things. If you’re constantly worried about how others will perceive you, you may be hesitant to step outside of your comfort zone and pursue important things. This can ultimately limit your personal growth and prevent you from reaching your full potential.
The most important thing is to focus on your happiness and well-being. Don’t let the opinions of others dictate your life and your choices. You are the only one who knows what is truly best for you, and you should never compromise your values and beliefs to please others.
Of course, this is easier said than done. It can be difficult to let go of the need for external validation, especially if you’ve been conditioned to seek it out for most of your life. But with practice and self-reflection, you can learn to prioritize your feelings and needs above the opinions of others.
Question of the Week
This week’s question came from one of my employees who came to talk t me about feeling like she had lost some of her motivation at work. As we talked through how she was feeling, she asked, “Do you ever lose motivation at work, and if so, what do you do?”
My answer: Absolutely. We all go through motivation ebbs and flows, and a leader who tells you they never lose motivation is lying to you. But it’s our responsibility to figure out why we have lost motivation and recommit to making an impact. Listen in to learn how I recommit and some hacks I use to find inspiration when it’s waned.
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