How can mastering the art of difficult conversations and emotional management revolutionize your leadership and transform your personal and professional relationships? In this insightful episode of the Thrive Today podcast, host Natalie Born sits down with Ryan Dunlap, founder of Conflict-ish and former law enforcement officer, to explore the intricacies of navigating high-stakes conversations and managing emotions under pressure. Drawing from his extensive experience in hostage negotiation, crisis intervention, and leadership, Ryan shares powerful strategies and insights that can help individuals become more effective communicators and leaders. Throughout the conversation, Ryan emphasizes the importance of separating the person from the problem, understanding the other person's perspective, and actively listening without judgment. He also delves into the concept of reputation management and the lasting impact of emotional outbursts on one's credibility and influence. Listeners will walk away with practical tools and a newfound understanding of how to approach challenging conversations with tact, empathy, and strategic thinking.
With more than 20 years of combined law enforcement, ministry, and executive leadership experience, Ryan Dunlap is an internationally recognized conflict management coach and trainer. He is a Certified Leadership Coach as well as the founder and Chief Conflict Officer at Conflictish, a conflict strategy firm dedicated to helping leaders improve how they lead themselves and others through conflict. He is the creator of The Real Tact Model®, a custom framework for developing conflict competence.
00:00:00 - 00:06:00 - Unraveling the Threads of Difficult Conversations
High-stakes conversations are subjective and require
understanding the other person's perspective.
Defining clear objectives and focusing on the future state is crucial for productive conversations.
Emotional hijacking can lead to ineffective communication and damaged relationships.
00:06:00 - 00:13:00 - The Art of Tactful Communication
Approaching conversations with finesse and strategic thinking leads to better outcomes.
The three-part assertive message framework helps communicate value without causing offense.
Pausing and rethinking one's approach can prevent emotional responses and facilitate constructive dialogue.
00:13:00 - 00:20:00 - Listening: The Superpower of Effective Leaders
Active listening and empathy can transform hostile conversations into meaningful exchanges.
Separating the person from the problem allows for more effective conflict resolution.
Most people have an emotional management problem rather than a conflict management problem.
00:20:00 - 00:26:00 - The Ripple Effect of Emotional Outbursts
Losing one's cool can have lasting negative impacts on reputation and credibility.
Reputation consists of passive (the story others tell) and active (lived experiences) components.
Consistently demonstrating character and managing emotions is crucial for influencing how others perceive us.
00:26:00 - 00:31:00 - Accountability and the Weight of Words
The impact of disrespect and negativity is often felt more deeply than intended.
Accountability for one's actions should match the level of perceived offense.
Being mindful of the weight of our words can prevent unintended consequences in communication.
Quotes:
"Separate the person from the problem. Attack the problem while preserving the person." - Ryan Dunlap
"Most people don't have a conflict management problem. What most people have is an emotional management problem." - Ryan Dunlap
Connect with Ryan:
Website: https://www.conflictish.com/
Follow Thrive Today on Instagram (@thrivetodaywomen) and visit our website at Thrive Today.
Don't forget to subscribe and leave a 5-STAR Review!
