Description

This episode explores the relational application of the Plumb, focusing on how grounded, consistent behavior shapes the quality and durability of relationships. The Plumb is used as a way to examine how personal alignment influences trust, stability, and agency between people.

🔑 Key Takeaways

• Relational grounding begins with changing oneself first.
• The Plumb provides a way to test relational behavior for alignment and truthfulness.
• Trust is built through predictability and accuracy, not intention.
• Understanding others requires seeing behavior from their internal center of gravity.
• Relational clarity increases autonomy and reduces self-blame.

💬 Featured Quotes

• “At a relational level, it’s the ability to repeatedly and consistently say the things that you need to say, do the things that you need to do.” (0:17–0:33)
• “The plumb is sort of the mechanism by which you can test these things.” (0:49–0:56)
• “If I want to change the relationships I’m having in the world, I’m going to have to change myself first.” (1:02–1:05)
• “How can I move my behavior relationally more in a plumb way?” (1:05–1:10)
• “If people keep treating you badly or keep treating you well… reflecting on the plumb… will help you move that conversation out of self-blame or blaming others.” (1:51–2:12)
• “It is building a grounded and firm understanding based on mutual respect.” (2:24–2:34)
• “Being reliable and consistent with your own behavior.” (2:34–2:39)
• “Trust requires a couple of things… it doesn’t actually require the thing that you expect.” (2:57–3:01)
• “If you’re a scoundrel, people can trust their idea that you’re a scoundrel.” (3:21–3:25)
• “They have a correct estimation of who you are as a person.” (3:25–3:33)
• “What is their gravitational center look like?” (4:01–4:10)
• “Knowing that, I can then behave accordingly and gain more autonomy and agency on my own.” (4:10–4:18)

Creators & Guests

• Brian Mattocks - Host

Thanks to our monthly supporters

• Tim Dedman
• Jorge