In Mark 8:33-38, Jesus gives us an ultimatum: die to self (i.e. being controlled by/listening to our feelings) or we cannot “come after [Him]” for salvation[1]. This ultimatum is based on both loyalty (we can’t serve two masters) and ability: self – or again our feelings, are severely compromised by sin and easily manipulated by Satan and the world. To be controlled by them will therefore result in not only failing to live for Christ but also behaving no better than Satan and being led astray by the world. It will guarantee losing our souls in hell forever[2]. Self – or once more, being controlled by our feelings is, therefore, our greatest enemy and humanity’s biggest problem.
The good news, however, is that for genuine Christians (those baptized in a legit/biblical church), the tools (or power) to be free, to take control away from our feelings has already been granted to us. We no longer must function as its slaves (Rom 6:1-7). That being said, we must still do the work of applying that power or using those tools if such freedom is to be realized. And to this task we are obligated as part of our covenant vows to follow and give full control to Christ (Rom 6:8-13 w/8:12-13).
How to be free/stop listening to/take control away from your feelings (and give full control to Jesus -i.e. live according to truth):
REPENT
The number one reason people will not die to self/their feelings and (as a result) fail to follow Christ is because they are unrepentant in relation to their sin. And being controlled by/listening to your feelings is sin. Unrepentance is also the reason so many professing Christians lack passion in living for Christ. Unresolved sin kills passion. Repentance is therefore the first solution or step to take control away from your feelings and living passionate lives for Christ. Hence the reason that the pre-requisite to the gospel – or “take up your cross and follow Me” is always “repent” (Mar 1:15 “repent and believe the gospel” = “take up your cross”/die to self w/ Act 24:24-25 = The gospel includes/is about “self-control”).
Through his discussion on “godly grief” in 2 Corinthians 7:10-11, the apostle Paul reveals what true/biblical repentance (i.e. “repentance that leads to salvation without regret”) looks like. Which means, if we are to possess or practice the kind of repentance that frees us from the tyranny of our feelings, then it must be defined by what is mentioned in these verses:
1.1. No pain no gain (or change)
(10) = True/legit repentance is produced by (or requires) “godly grief” = Literally, godly pain ([λύπη] = Same word translated as “painful” in Heb 12:11). It is the pain associated with change and taking control away from one’s feelings.
What else is true about this “godly pain” that produces true/legitimate repentance = It is the opposite of “worldly grief” (or again, “pain”). Godly pain brings change and life (or “salvation”) whereas worldly pain brings “death” and “regret”.
What Paul is referring to by “worldly grief/pain” = The emotional pain associated with feeling sorry for oneself (i.e. “your feelings are hurt”). This, therefore, is what defines fake/illegitimate repentance. It is a person who thinks they are repenting b/c they feel bad (again, sorry for themselves) when they sin (or more accurately, get caught in their sin). Prisons are filled w/such people (people whose only reason for feeling bad is because they got caught).
What fake/illegitimate/worldly repentance (feeling sorry for yourself) looks like = Acting like a martyr, making excuses (“I did do the crime, but I am a good person)[3], playing the victim (“I can’t help what I do/think”)[4] or crying when sin is discovered in their life. People who respond in any of these ways (to their sin) show that they are unrepentant – or not willing to put self/their feelings to death. They have rejected the pain that will always come when one attempts to take control away from self/their feelings and put in its place the counterfeit pain of self-pity (or again, “worldly grief”)[5].
How (then) you need to view godly pain = Not as something bad – or an indication that we need to stop our current course of action, but rather as a good thing, as an indication that sin/self/feelings are leaving (or beginning to die) as that which controls us (“pain is weakness leaving/dying in the body”). The Christian life is not butterfly kisses and anyone who attempts to make it that will fail to get to heaven. Godly pain is necessary and something we should run to—rather than away from. It is the place that change or improvement begins. It is how we get stronger and what (therefore) we should expect when truly repenting. Christian gain requires godly pain – the pain associated w/change (“no pain no gain” – or change).
1.2. Extreme ownership
(11 “what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves”) = The fact that a person wants to “clear” themselves means they not only know they are guilty – but willing to admit it (i.e. confess it) and accept the pain. In contrast (then) to the person feeling sorry for themselves, playing the victim or making excuses (the person possessing only worldly grief/repentance), the person who is truly repentant takes extreme ownership of their situation, they call it for what it is and embrace the “godly pain” of change that it will require – no matter the cost (Mat 18:7-9 = Do whatever it takes to get your feelings [those things affected by “the temptations to sin”] under control).
What this word “earnestness” also reveals about the kind of ownership we are to have when it comes to our repentance – or taking control away from our feelings = It is to be immediate (earnestness [σπουδή] = W/speed or haste/immediate action – Mar 6:25; Psa 119:59-60). This means that the excuse “I need time to process” is (again) unrepentance or sin! Parents, do you allow your children time to “process” your commands or to stop their sinful behavior (e.g. tell them to brush their teeth and go to bed, you find them still watching tv w/this excuse, “I needed time to process your command”)? Why then the partiality/hypocrisy when it comes to the immediate ownership/change God calls you to demonstrate as part of your repentance and getting control over your feelings/sin? Again, the immediate and right response to an apostate child provides a good example where several have failed in this respect. The apostate child refused to immediately repent/die to their feelings and follow Christ. As a result, they are now apostate. Though condemning such behavior, the parents respond (in like behavior), by “needing time to process” and crying (i.e. giving in to their feelings by feeling sorry for themselves and their apostate child – rather than Christ).
In summary, then, you will never get control over your feelings and truly follow Christ until you legitimately take ownership by admitting that you are controlled by your feelings and commit to immediately doing whatever it takes to change it – to embracing the pain that brings real gain!
1.3. War
(11 “what indignation” [ἀγανάκτησις]) = Fierce opposition toward who/what is wrong. In this case, your feelings that are controlling you. They are no longer to be viewed as the friend you can trust (e.g. “follow your heart”), but the enemy within that deceives and can never be trusted (Jer 17:9 “heart”[לֵב] = The seat of man’s emotions). As such, to repent is to declare war on self. If that is not your stance in relation to your feelings, then you are not truly repentant and will never gain control over them.
What feelings/emotions are from a scientific perspective and how it reinforces why you shouldn’t trust them = Feelings/emotions are nothing more than guesses that your brain constructs i...
