This week we face the question every home is asking: how do we hold yedidut (friendship) and mashma’ut (discipline) together—without losing either?
Rav Shlomo Katz and the women of Shirat David learn that Chazal’s path isn’t “buddy” parenting, and it isn’t cold control. It’s a 50/50 coin: authority on one side, friendship on the other—flipped together by love. The Chafetz Chaim’s home modeled chaverut with clear chinuch; the Rambam’s Ve’ahavta l’rei’acha kamocha applies inside our doorway, too—yes, even toward our children.
Together we learn:
- Why “just friendship” isn’t a Jewish home, and “just authority” breaks the funnel (kesher nafshi) that lets Torah and values actually land.
- How to keep vision and boundaries without the belt, or the burnout.
- The daily avodah of seeing a neshamah, not a project: curiosity first, guidance second.
- Yosef’s middah as a parenting model: chesed and gevurah operating simultaneously.
- A practical liturgy for parents: entering a moment of conflict with “הנני מקבל עלי מצות עשה של ואהבת לרעך כמוך.”
Practical takeaways:
- Two-step before feedback: 1) Reflect what you heard (friend), 2) State the boundary and consequence calmly (parent).
- Name the coin: Say it out loud—“I love you as my yedid, and I’m setting this boundary as your parent.”
- One clear house rule: Choose one “non-crossable line” this week; post it, keep it with warmth.
- Daily 30-second kavanah: Before big talks, whisper the Ve’ahavta line above.
- Measure the funnel: If your words aren’t landing, build kesher first, teach second.
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For more Shuirim and Music from Rav Shlomo Katz, visit: https://ravshlomokatz.com
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