In this insightful episode of M.E.S.H., host Pamela Brewer welcomes Tahara DeBarrows, a licensed marriage and family therapist, to discuss alexithymia—a personality trait often described as "emotional blindness." Tahara DeBarrows explains what alexithymia is, how it impacts relationships and personal well-being, and offers practical advice on how individuals can develop emotional awareness. The conversation also touches on trauma, neurodivergence, and the importance of seeking help without stigma. Listeners will leave with a deeper understanding of emotional processing and actionable strategies to support themselves or loved ones.
Topics Covered:
- What alexithymia is and how it manifests
- Emotional awareness and emotional vocabulary
- Neurodivergence: autism, ADHD, and its relationship to alexithymia
- Impact of emotional blindness in relationships and parenting
- The role of trauma in developing alexithymia
- Gender and cultural aspects of emotional expression
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and emotional wheels
- Somatic therapies and mindfulness
- Trauma-informed approaches in therapy
- Practical steps for supporting someone with emotional blindness
Key Takeaways:
- Alexithymia is not a mental health disorder but a personality trait, often described as emotional blindness.
- Emotional blindness can develop as a survival strategy, particularly in traumatic or emotionally disconnected environments.
- Both neurodivergent individuals and those with trauma histories may be more likely to experience alexithymia.
- Emotional vocabulary can be strengthened; skills like identifying and naming emotions can be learned and mastered.
- CBT, emotional wheels, and somatic therapies are effective tools for building emotional awareness.
- Seeking therapy is not a sign of being "crazy"—it's a step towards better self-understanding and well-being.
- Grace, patience, and modeling emotional language can support loved ones struggling with emotional blindness.
- Trauma-informed care prioritizes the client’s needs and equips them with coping skills for triggers.
The Six Best Quotes:
- "It's not a mental health disorder. It's really just an emotional processing kind of issue." –
Tahara DeBarrows - "Identifying emotions could be a skill. Meaning that it can be taught, it can be learned, it can be mastered." –
Tahara DeBarrows - "We go to medical doctors for physical symptoms... What's the difference with seeing a therapist for mental health issues?" –
Tahara DeBarrows - "The reality of it, usually we feel worse before we feel better when we start to uncover those feelings because we were so avoidant before. But there's hope." –
Tahara DeBarrows - "If you're the one in the relationship who knows how to identify their emotions, you can kind of model what you want that to look like." –
Tahara DeBarrows - "Trauma-informed means I'm just putting the client first... with a lot of grace and a lot of care for these individuals who've gone through a lot and have developed things like alexithymia." –
Tahara DeBarrows
Connect with the Guest:
Resources List:
- A Journey to Healing Counseling –Tahara DeBarrows's practice (Connecticut & Florida)
- Blog: Men with Alexithymia
- CBT Worksheets: Available under Services and Professional Development on ajourneytohealingcounseling.com
- Emotional Wheel: Search "emotional wheel" on Google for printable charts
- Somatic therapies & mindfulness practices (referenced as body scanning and progressive muscle relaxation)
- For specific therapy and information, contact info@ajourneytohealingcounseling.com
