Welcome to episode #79!
This week, Matt and Braden chat about family dysfunction as this will often play a part in our current behaviour, specifically a porn addiction.
We all have degrees of dysfunction in our family
A perfect family doesn't exist. Because of this, we all have layers of dysfunction that stem from our family of origin. That isn't to say that our parents or family didn't provide us with good things or pass on healthy patterns to us, but that we all have dysfunctional areas we need to acknowledge and recognize. This isn't to play the victim or blame our porn addiction on others, but identifying this highlights the need to invite God into our dysfunction so that we can get healing.
Forgiveness is an important step!
Forgiveness is a process, but it always starts with the choice to forgive. We may have wounds from our past upbringing and that pain is very real, but we are all called to forgive as God has forgiven us. This choice is not based on a feeling but an act of our will. When we forgive, the feelings of hurt and pain will likely still exist, but we don't forgive based on our feelings because we may never "feel" like doing it. When we make that choice, God works in our heart to help us with the pain. Over time the process becomes a healing journey instead of a prison of pain where we harbour bitterness and anger.
Asking God to search our heart is an important step and prayer!
It can be really hard to identify areas of dysfunction that may be harming us, and often it is hard to see past the pain of certain moments to see things accurately. But God will help us when we ask, and will show us the state of our heart. God is so loving and will show us areas of our life in compassion and gentleness, even though it may be hard to stir up our past. This isn't about placing blame on our parents or circumstances as a scapegoat for our current behaviour, but to own our current behaviour and understanding the roots of why we act out in the way we do.
Stay tuned
Next week, Matt and Braden continue to talk about the roots of addiction, focusing on personal trauma and well as our addictive culture.
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Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 12 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honored to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
