Welcome to episode #95!
In this episode, Matt and Braden talk about hidden patterns of behaviour that can lead to porn and discuss the importance of building awareness around these "default responses."
Default responses are reactionary
Over time when we respond to feelings or circumstances in a particular way, it becomes ingrained in our minds as well-traveled neural pathways of behaviour. These responses become so well established to the point we don't even think about what we are doing. For instance if something makes us anxious, we may retreat from others and and become isolated. This response becomes learned and it may run in the background without any thought given or understanding that we are acting in such a way.
Default responses can become tied to porn use
When we are battling an addiction like porn, our self-awareness is often non-existent. We don't know what we are feeling, why we act out or what led to us using porn and masturbating. So when things in life happen to us, we can't respond in a healthy way, but instead we react and spiral down until we look at porn and enter into a cycle of addiction. Identifying our default responses can help us in building self-awareness, which is a key in moving out of an addictive pattern to having sobriety and then freedom.
Shine a spotlight on your default responses!
Learning our default responses can be challenging and we need accountability and groups to help us see these "blind spots." But ultimately we need God's help, so pray into this and ask Him what your unhealthy response patterns are. This can be difficult but it is necessary to break the addictive lifestyle that we have that surrounds our porn use.
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Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
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Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
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Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 12 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honored to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
