Welcome to episode #99!
In this episode, Matt and Braden talk with author, speaker, and pastor, Mike Novotny, on forgiveness and confession, and why both are vital to healing from things like abuse and pornography.
There is no one size fits all approach to healing from abuse
We are all different and our lives are all different. So, there is no button we all can push to heal in an instant that will act the same way for us all. We need to take a long game approach towards healing, and we all need to be willing to forgive. When we choose to not forgive we end up hurting even more and it causes the pain and trauma to be pushed down where it can fester and grow. We create a prison of our own devising, but God wants us to be free and to heal! He cares about our pain, and hates when we have been wronged by others. Jesus can fully identify with our pain and what we have gone through, and he asks that we give him that burden because only he can heal our heart!
Can I be in relationship with a past abuser?
Stats tell us that people who are a victim of abuse, often were abused by someone they knew, like a family member or an authority figure in their life. It can be incredibly difficult when an abuser is still in our lives and we face the feelings of trauma or pain every-time we are near them. Forgiveness is an important step and choice we need to make on our end, but forgiveness doesn't mean we are now "ok" with everything and feel "better". Instead we choose to forgive which is not based on a feeling, but an act of our will. At the same time, if the person who abused us is unwilling to repent, forgiving them doesn't mean we have to be in relationship with them. Jesus set healthy boundaries with people and he never calls us to be friends with everyone. But if our past abuser is wanting to reconcile, ask for forgiveness and mend the bridge, it is possible that we can have a relationship with them. That said, it is always important that we ask for wisdom from trusted people around us, as every situation and every relationship is different and we will need guidance as to how we approach these situations.
There is blessing on the other side of awkward
We can often feel like we are carrying the weight of the world when we have unconfessed sin in our life. We tend to carry that weight for years because we don't know how to release that burden or we are unwilling to share about it with others. That can happen because we are afraid of what others might think of us, or we are fearful of being rejected or exposed. But when we choose to confess, we are open to receive healing from God, because he designed us to be in community with others and to not live isolated and alone. It may feel awkward but, that feeling is only for a moment, and the healing you can receive by confessing is worth it!
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Resources
Time of Grace (Mike Novotny)
Time of Grace Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 12 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honored to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
