Transcript for EP10:
Welcome to SHE is Confident. Hi! This is Deon Teh and in this episode, I will be sharing with you about SELF LOVE.
As humans, we are born to love, like a child to his mother, and we have known this since young, that’s why we are always in search to be loved, and to love others.
We feel disappointed, hurt and frustrated when others are unable to satisfy our emotional needs.
However, we have forgotten that in order for others to love us, we need to love ourselves first.
There are many family conflicts, disharmony, and tragedies caused by people who do not love themselves enough. In most cases, both parties insist that they are right, enforcing tough love on their loved ones. In the end, we misuse the love to hurt one another.
When we learn to self love, this will in turn enable us to love others. It may seem like magic but the more you love your self, you will be able to love others better and the more you love others well, the more others will love you back.
A couple of years ago, I have a good staff working for my company. She is efficient in her work and we both worked very well together. We have a common understanding on solving work issues. However, I soon realised that apart from work, she has a lot of complaints towards everything in life. She is unhappy about her colleagues being unco-operative, always having a victim mindset.
I soon find myself struggling and pressured by her negative thoughts.
This causes a lot of issues between departments and this was my career bottleneck period
as I did not have much experience in dealing with these interpersonal relationship issues back then.
Every day, I will have doubts about myself and my abilities. Am I really capable to handle this company, can I really manage the company well? I have so many voices inside my head!
So how did I overcome this? Luckily for me, I do have the habit of practicing self-awareness during the weekends. I will comfort myself by reading books that talk about positivity. These books are like a mentor that always communicates with me, inspiring me with ideas. After a few months of reading and with the help of our company consultant, I was able to get out of the negative thoughts and have more self-affirmation.
I also found out that when I carry positive thoughts regularly, I will have the energy to overcome any issues.
Every one of us has self-help ability. The more we know, the more we are aware of ourselves and our behaviour. The more we are aware, the more we can help ourselves. You do not know what you don't know.
Have you been in a situation where someone is negative and you will start to follow his or her negative thoughts and suddenly the world seems so grey and dark? By being self-aware and putting positive thoughts in my mind, I am now more calm whenever I meet someone that carries negative thoughts.
I am more sensitive and aware of my emotions and thoughts are not easily affected by them.
This self -help has led to me feeling good and important about myself, however when there is taking, there must be giving. If we were to misunderstand the meaning of self love and mistook it for only loving ourselves, then we will become selfish.
Loving oneself is one’s life work. It is never ending. In order to self love, one must let go of logical reasoning, ego and feel yourself from the bottom of your heart.
Don't be too hard on yourself, this will lower your self esteem, you might end up seeking external satisfaction like unnecessary buying, over eating, or worse , taking drugs to get relief.
There are many books in the library that teach positivity and self- love. There are also free resources on the internet readily available.
Starting from today, learn to listen to your heart, and feel your inner feelings. Pick up a hobby or passion that you like, and enjoy the process. By doing so, you will feel happier and be more enlightened along the way.
Conclusions
If you find yourself complaining about others when they did not return your kindness, then it is time to relook at your inner self.
Do not worry about the past as we cannot change history, however we can rewrite our future by doing well and be present for this very moment.
Learn to enjoy our present moment ,do it well and take care of yourself as your past comes from your present and your future will work from your present.
If you want to talk about transforming your inner child, healing your relationships with yourself and money, connect with me through my Facebook and the link is in the show notes.
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/leeyongteh
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/d_t_l_y/
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/deon-teh-leeyong-573a0766/
I look forward to seeing you in my next episode where I will be sharing with you on SELF CARE.
