Transcript for EP11
Welcome to SHE is Confident. Hi! This is Deon Teh and in this episode, I will be sharing with you about SELF CARE.
As a 9-5 employee, we often feel that our time is limited as we spent most of our time at work. However when we have the time, we will use our time to care for others like our family, our children and we tend to forget to care for ourselves.
This is especially true for working mothers. Whenever we have too many unfinished matters, we tend to assume that only we can do it better than others. Sometimes, we need to pause and ask ourselves - Why am I shouldering on so much burden or taking up so much responsibility, am I expecting others to praise me or love me? What if no one appreciates the things I do, will I still be willing to do so or will I feel upset and hurt?
Do you really enjoy what you are doing even with no returns?
As parents, we often want our child to fulfil our dreams that we didn't get to realise.
We will enrol them in music classes, dance classes or drawing classes for instance. Is our child really enjoying the classes? If they are not enjoying themselves, what do we do?
Back in 2007, when my husband and I were busy taking care of our newborn son, we encountered a lot of problems like all new parents do.
In order to take care of our son, we gave up entertainment like travelling, watching movies and even gathering with friends. For the longest time, I was unhappy. And whenever I want to pamper myself, and I will feel guilty. Like the gym membership that I signed up for. I paid 1 year of gym fees, and after attending for 2 months , I decided not to go in the end as I really feel guilty leaving my husband and son at home while I go to the gym.
In 2017, I chanced upon a book written by the CEO of Happy Science : 52 tips to find happiness.
This book focuses on dealing with some annoying problems in daily life, especially on family life and personal cultivation and reflection, such as family relationships, workplace relationships, social relationships, family and work, etc.
After reading the book, I felt enlightened, and realised that the unhappiness and guilt I feel towards my family, work and myself was a result of no self care.
I decided to make a change in my life. So I focused on three areas :
First, I shifted my mindset, self beliefs , continue to keep learning and have a positive mindset of having gratitude.
Second, I keep an awareness journal. In this, I reveal my feelings, my beliefs , expectations, emotional wounds I have, and also how I would release them. By practising to reveal my traumas, I help to regularly heal my inner child and curb my mood swings.
Lastly, I meditate daily for 5mins to calm myself down, this helps to boost my energy and also helps to control my short temper.
Through this, I have learned to appreciate everything that has happened in my life.
I am now more present than before. I can listen with an open heart to the feedback from my staff and colleagues, son and husband, with no judgment made.
With the light exercise that I do regularly, it helps to clear my mind and every morning my mind is always feeling fresh and I am able to think of fresh ideas easily.
The most important takeaway for me is that the noises in my mind are lesser, I am more grateful towards life and no longer be jealous of others.
I am able to celebrate small wins regardless of who the wins belong to.
Besides the light exercise, the following are five good ways that I do to boost my energy:
1- Having Enough sleep and rest
2- Writing a gratitude journal
3- Choose to read news that is happy , uplifting and positive.
4- Start a 30-day no complaining challenge
5- Love yourself, love others and love this world
Apart from the above ways, there are also many self-care practices that you can find from the internet easily, you could pick one that works for you.
We need to be practical and take action. Only when you take action, you can see changes in your life.
Persevere and keep going on, you will definitely see results.
If you want to talk about transforming your inner child, healing your relationships with yourself and money, connect with me through my Facebook and the link is in the show notes.
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/leeyongteh
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/d_t_l_y/
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/deon-teh-leeyong-573a0766/
I look forward to seeing you in my next episode where I will be sharing with you TIPS ON HOW TO BE YOURSELF AND BE SHE IS CONFIDENT.
