FamilyLife Today® Radio Transcript
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Dealing with Pain
Day 2 of 3
Guest: Tony Dungy
From the series: Quiet Strength
Bob: If you've every watched a game where the Indianapolis Colts are playing, and the camera goes to the sidelines, and there's Coach Tony Dungy, and he seems so calm and composed. Well, the Coach says he hasn't always been like that. He learned some things from his father.
Tony: My dad was one of the most composed people that I knew, and he probably had the same personality as me, but when things would happen, he always looked at, "Well, what can I do to make the situation better?" And sometimes, with us, if it was chewing us out or getting on us or spanking, if that was going to help make it better, he would do that. But many other times it would be just explain the situation, here is how we need to do it better the next time, and I learned from him, but it took me a long time.
Bob: This is FamilyLife Today for Thursday, January 17th. Our host is the president of FamilyLife, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine. We'll hear today some of the other ways that the game of football has helped Tony Dungy develop character.
And welcome to FamilyLife Today, thanks for joining us. You know, the last time we had the chance to sit down and talk with our guest today, he was just a pro football coach. But …
Dennis: Just?
Bob: But now he's …
Dennis: Bob, you know how to insult our guests.
Bob: Now he's the coach of the Super Bowl Champion Indianapolis Colts, at least for another couple of weeks. We'll see how that comes out this year.
Dennis: That's right.
Bob: And he is the author of the number-one New York Times bestselling book, "Quiet Strength." He's kind of come up in the world, don't you think?
Dennis: Yeah. Coach, you've added a little bit to your resume since the last time Bob and I talked to you.
Tony: It's amazing. Now I go through airports, and people do – they recognize you much more because of the Super Bowl, and I think also because of the book, and it's been amazing to me. But I'm enjoying it.
Bob: I have to ask a question here, if I can. The Kansas City game this past year, you know, you threw the red flag on that touchdown thing? Now, you can't say anything about the refs, can you, without a fine or anything like that?
Tony: No, you have to be complimentary.
[laughter]
Bob: I went back and saw the tape – you went back and saw the tape, right?
Tony: Yes.
Bob: We saw the same thing, didn't we?
Tony: Yeah, I'm confused as to what it actually means to catch a ball now. I'll have to go back and work on that.
Bob: I just wanted to make sure I was thinking just along the same lines.
Dennis: I tried to keep Bob from doing that. I said, "He's going to get fined. It's not going to be pleasant."
Tony: No, I always just say I'm just confused at what it means to catch the ball. I used to think you had to catch it and hold onto it, but not anymore.
Bob: Nothing more than that, isn't it?
Dennis: As we watch you, though, on television on Sunday, walking up and down the sidelines, you just look like this calm, Tom Landry-style coach, who is just enjoying the afternoon watching his team. But in your book, "Quiet Strength," you mentioned you've got a problem with your temper. In fact, you said you like to think of it as venting. Your dad used to think of it as what?
Tony: Really dumb, not very smart, because you aren't helping the situation. And I learned a lot about that from him. My dad was one of the most composed people that I knew, and he probably had the same personality as me, but when things would happen he always looked at, "Well, what can I do to make the situation better?" And sometimes, with us, if it was chewing us out or getting on us or spanking, if that was going to help make it better, he would do that, but many other times it would be just explain the situation, here is how we need to do it better the next time, and I learned from him, but it took me a long time. I'm still maturing, and that calm demeanor that you see is not my natural state.
Dennis: You actually, I think, and back to what Bob tried to trap you into doing here again – you actually questioned a referee's call in the press conference one time and got fined 10 grand?
Tony: I did. In 1999, it was the first year of instant replay. We lost the game, and they told me afterwards that the replay official was wrong, and, you know, I knew the rules, and I did a little venting there, and it didn't help us win the game, it didn't change anything, it cost me $10,000, and I actually apologized to the commissioner. I said, "I know the rule, I violated that, and I understand the fine."
Bob: So what do you do when you feel anger today?
Dennis: Well, now, wait, before you ask that …
Bob: Okay.
Dennis: At that point, you heard your father's voice again, right?
Tony: Very strongly, saying, "Do you feel better? Did it help the situation? You vented, you got it off your chest, it didn't help your team win, and you're paying $10,000 to charity."
Bob: So whe...
