Hey everybody. Today I want to talk about soak time in the context of personal growth.
Soak time is one of the most important components of experiencing true growth. Many people consume information, whether reading books, watching YouTube, listening to podcasts or attending courses. But the soak time is where you transform the information you have consumed and learn how to apply it in the workplace. It’s the step that happens between learning something new and putting that newly acquired knowledge into action.
On a previous podcast with Dr. Johanna Pagonis, we talked a lot about why most leadership training fails. One of those reasons is the lack of time given for reflection. That time for reflection, or soak time, is so important. Without it, we quickly forget the concepts we have consumed. But when we reflect, we create new brain maps that become part of how we think, act and live our lives. In these moments we are rewiring our brains. Again, reflection is the link between learning and doing.
We still have to act. We have to act upon what we learn, and reflect on, to strengthen the new maps in our brains. The action we take after the soak time is what exercises and strengthens the new muscle. So, all of it is important. They are three legs of the same stool: learning, reflecting and doing something with it. Those are the three components of personal growth.
For the rest of this podcast, I want to give you examples of this from my own personal growth experience. I will share some quotes from a book, and then share my personal reflections on the concepts and maybe even some examples of how I have put the concepts into action.
I’m going to use one of the most inspirational books I read in 2020 as an example: Quiet Leadership by Dr. David Rock. Sometimes when a book inspires me it doesn’t have the same effect on my peers but Quiet Leadership did. My friend Marty told me it was one of the best books he ever read. So, you might want to check it out if you are not familiar with his work.
So here goes:
Quote#1
To take any kind of committed action people need to think things through for themselves.
People experience a degree of inertia around thinking for themselves due to the energy required. The act of having an aha moment gives off the kind of energy needed for people to become motivated and willing to take action.
So much truth there. You can tell someone what they should think or do but it rarely has a lastly effect if it even works at all. When people think for themselves, they create new maps in their brain. When it is their idea, they are more likely to buy in to it.
You know, that’s actually how adults learn. They learn by connecting concepts that already exist in their brain, which is different than how children learn. Children have more empty space in their brains that can be filled with new ideas. But not adults. Adults make connections to what they already know. That’s why they need time to reflect but also the space to come up with their own ideas, or their own connections. It’s how they learn.
When that connection is made, their brain is filled with energy. I’ve felt that energy many times in life when learning new wisdom. Those moments where you think, “I wish I knew that 20 years ago”. That energy is inspirational, motivational. It just feels great.
That energy can be transformed into actions that make meaningful change in an organization or in an individual’s life. Or both. But the energy quickly dissipates if you don’t do anything with it, or strengthen the new map. Getting people to make a commitment when they experience that energy means they are more likely to act upon it.
When I read that statement, I reflected on times I would tell people what they should do to improve and they would usually respond back with excuses of why they couldn’t change. I thought about how I could get better with my communications. I thought about asking more “what can you do?” type questions instead of entertaining the barriers they face.
During this reflection I made commitments to myself on taking action. One, get better at letting the other person come up with all the potential solutions to their problem. Two, get better at letting go. By letting go, I mean hold back that part of me that wants to say “but” or “you should also consider” or anything else that is more about my idea than theirs.
So, here’s another one:
Quote #2
When we are trying to help a colleague think anything through, we make the unconscious assumption that the other persons brain works the same as ours. We then tell people what we would do and are convinced it’s what they should do.
Boy that one hit me hard. My brain doesn’t work like everyone else’s. Part of me wants to say I wish it did, but that isn’t true. People think differently than me for good reason. That quote made me think of a bible verse:
Romans 12-4
For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.
Some people are very analytical. Some are contemplative. Some are detail oriented and others are focused on the big picture. And all of us, together, are what make a beautiful world.
People don’t think the way I think. They don’t think about the things I think about. Everyone has different desires, passions and deal with life challenges in very different ways. We should celebrate out different we are, but we also need to respect that we are not all wired the same way.
This made me reflect on how one method of communicating a concept may be the perfect inspiration for someone, if their brain works similar to mine. But for another brain, my communication can totally suck.
I committed to taking action with this concept by learning multiple ways to communicate the same idea. The methods that aren’t so inspirational to me can be the perfect form of communication for someone else. None of us think the same way, and I must be agile, and flexible enough, to expand my level of influence with people.
How many ways can I come up with to communicate the same idea? The more the better, the greater my outreach, the greater my influence.
Quote#3
New habits take time but not that much. It doesn’t take long to create new habits. What’s hard is trying to uncreate them.
This time of year, a lot of people are making resolutions and trying to quit something……and it’s hard. But Dr. Rock is so right about creating new habits. It’s so much easier to start something, than it is to quit something.
Our brains are filled with hard wired information and changing the way we behave is just as hard as the wiring in our brain. But doing something new is relatively easy.
So, I kinda suck at diet. I’m not a big fast-food eater, but I’m definitely one of those people who cleans my plate. I suck at portion control. I’ve been cleaning my plate for 40+ years! Leaving some food on the plate is hard for me.
This year I started jogging. I’ve done minor weight lifting on and off again for years, went on walks, bike rides, but never was a jogger. But last year I decided to start a new habit: jogging. It blows my mind how easy it was to not just start joggi...
