I bet you hadn’t considered this blind spot in your relationships before.
Try this on:
If you notice the same arguments in relationships
or you’re single and finding yourself in the same relationship dynamics
over and over again, you might have had the same problem:
A LACK OF INDIVIDUATION.
Let me explain:
Growing up, in order to emerge as a fully functional adult with secure attachments,
it’s imperative that we INDIVIDUATE from our parents.
That means to EMERGE as a separate individual, fully present and aware
of our own values, identity, beliefs, preferences, and boundaries.
But unless you had trauma-informed, unicorn parents who healed from their own
attachment traumas, you likely grew up in an environment where there were
strict and harsh consequences of having your own particular values, identity, beliefs,
and preferences.
For example, If you grew up gay in a strict religious household and felt you had to hide who you were,
your psyche will be affected by this conflict.
You would have to make the choice of fitting in, or being emotionally (sometimes physically)
shunned or exiled from connection.
If your parents were struggling emotionally and with addictions and co-dependency with one another,
and you felt you had to take care of them and your younger siblings to feel safe,
developing a sense of “good boy/girl” identity by choosing to suppress who you are in order to feel loved by your parents,
then you could argue that you haven’t INDIVIDUATED.
In both of these cases, you can easily see how the lack of individuation would shape the person’s identity,
and creates a “false self” they would use to interact with the world.
Suddenly, every relationship, every belief, every behavior is informed by this unresolved conflict.
When driven by this unconscious conflict,
EACH AND EVERY COGNITIVE BASED THERAPY WE DO BECOMES INEFFECTIVE, BECAUSE WE
ARE STILL UNCONSCIOUSLY TIED TO OUR PARENTS.
That was me.
43 years old, divorced, and 9 failed relationships later, trying to make sense of
how I keep screwing this up despite all the personal development courses I took.
I began looking closely at these patterns and I did the unthinkable:
I moved back in with my parents for the sole purpose of divorcing them.
It was the best thing I ever did— although I wouldn’t recommend you do that unless you had a guide.
Not for the faint of heart.
I did it because deep down I knew why the patterns were there and why nothing ever worked for me.
That’s why I’m so keen to share how to break that same cycle with you.
If you’re ready to master the art of Individuation, RUN… (don’t walk) RUN, to our next
Overview Experience event.
(https://go.drnima.com/bbvw?sl=youtube)
This is a clip from our last one.
They are f%^& ing 🔥🔥🔥 if I may share what the feedback is.
Will you Individuate in one 6 hour Event?
Hell No! It takes a lifetime!
But you’ll learn the tools to get you started, and you’ll be surrounded by a room full of 50-75 other
high-vibing people who are doing the exact same thing… learning how to Individuate WITH you.
These are the first steps on the path to being a Cycle Breaker.
It’s about getting out of your "freeze state” and learning how to feel safe in your body again.
It's about creating a relationship with yourself that finally feels nourishing.
It’s about living a life by DESIGN, not by DUTY.
Today my relationship with my parents is better than it’s ever been,
and I’ve finally been able to do what I’ve never done before:
Get married. Have a family. Become a father.
End the pattern of dating wounded birds that I could “rescue” that always ended in disaster.
Heal from my Trauma Bonds.
You can too.
I love showing people how it’s done.
1) Write down what Individuation could possibly do for you in this ONE LIFE.
2) Click the registration link below.
3) On a piece of paper, make a list of excuses why you can’t show up on Saturday.
4) Then, burn it. And jump in and join this party… It’s supposed to feel scary (but you won’t be alone).
Enjoy the clip from the event.
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Upcoming Masterclass "SHOULD I STAY OR GO?" Live Event (Every month)
If you’re stuck in limbo, in repetitive relationship patterns, same arguments, attracting the same patterns, and you want to gain the clarity, confidence, and Courage to create secure relationships
Upcoming Overview Experience Virtual Event (Every month)
Dissolve your current relationship resentment, heal your attachment wounds, resolve your past and bring clarity to your next step.
Or if you are wanting to hop on a call and discuss how we can support you through your transition and you're wanting deeper guidance on your healing journey and you're ready to break the cycle of inter-generational trauma (divorce, separation, relationship limbo, past trauma spilling into present)
Join my Facebook Group to help you understand yourself, control your triggers, regulate your nervous system and know what's keeping you stuck in these times of crisis:
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