Show Notes
Episode 12
In this Episode Heather discusses:
Links Mentioned:
fortheloveofadoption.com
https://for-the-love-of-adoption.ck.page/adoption-101
Adoption. It's surrounded with so much confusion and misinformation. And how many people never move forward with adoption because of this? Hi, I'm Heather. I'm not an adoption coach or consultant, and I'm not within adoption agency. I'm a mom to two amazing kids I've been blessed with through adoption. And on this journey, I've learned and continue to learn a lot. Most of all, I believe that if God has put adoption on your heart, it's there for a reason. And you shouldn't let all the steps keep you from building your family through adoption. I'm here to offer you hope and encouragement, and to talk about everything from types of adoption, things to know before you adopt, funding your adoption, including grants, the home study process, making the most of your adoption wait, talking to your kids about adoption, and so much more. Adoption can be hard, but many of the best things in life often are You know what, though? It can also be amazing. I'm here to share what I've learned. I hope hearing from someone that has gone this road before you encourages and motivates you to take a step of faith and see where it leads. I'm doing this all for the love of adoption. Let's dive in.
Hi, friends welcome to episode 12 of the for the love of adoption Show.
Today I'm going to be talking about five things that adoption has taught me, I just want to share these because if you are going through the adoption process, or really even if you're already an adoptive parent, I feel like these are just some things that can encourage you. And if you are already an adoptive parent, you might be able to relate to and sometimes in this minority of people that adopt, it would be nice to know that there's people that have experienced some of the same things that you have when going through the journey. So when we decided to pursue adoption, I did not realize that there would be so many lessons I would learn, I was naive, I didn't know anything about adoption. And I was just learning as I went, as many of us do. But now looking back, there are some things that stand out to me as just the most important things that adoption has taught me, I'm really thankful that adoption hasn't really given me a family I could have never dreamed of. But it's also really expanded my horizons for what's possible. Like I said, in the first episode of our adoption story, I didn't think we were the kind of people that would adopt, I didn't think we could figure it out. It just seemed too complicated. So reaching this goal, this amazing dream. And then doing it two times even it really is expanded my thought process on what really is possible and how much we block ourselves off from great things. Because we just think it's out of our reach. Like we're not that type of person. And friends, I'm here to tell you, that's just not true. That's a barrier we put on ourselves, and it doesn't need to be there. So I want to share these five things. Let's jump in.
Number one, anything is possible, anything is possible. If there's one thing that I now really believe, after adopting it is that with God's help anything as possible, here's why we were completely clueless. Like I said, we were completely clueless about adoption. So many things had to happen for adoption to work, we literally could not do it on our own guys, we really couldn't. So much had to transpire for us to be able to do it. The truth was that with God, anything was possible. I just had a block then where I just didn't think we could, again, because of finances, and because of my family history, and just so many things. But the first thing that had to happen was that God had to change, my heart had to go through a heart change. Because when my husband and I got married, adoption was in no way shape, or form on my radar. In fact, having kids at all wasn't on my list. The truth is, we didn't plan to have a family. And it took some major intervention from God to move my heart toward adoption major, if you'd like a little more on that story, you can go back to episodes one and two. And then the other part of how anything is possible has to do with the cost. Adoption involves significant cost, we didn't have the money to adopt, we were not in a financial place to be able to save that kind of money. We didn't have it, it almost kept us from moving forward. If there was anything that would have kept us from moving forward. Aside from just getting our mind around the fact that we were the kind of people that could do this. It was money. Money was our biggest stumbling block. If we figured out how to pull the Financial Peace off, if we could figure that part of the adoption puzzle out anyone can for real. Coming up with 1000s and 1000s of dollars needed to adopt reinforce that anything is possible. So if funding adoption is a concern for you, I understand it was probably our biggest concern, it was our biggest concern. And we figured it out. And now I share all of that with you. So if that's an issue, I'm happy to share all of the resources I've found and what we did with you.
Number two, God's plans are better than our own. I plan to stay as a family too. But God had other plans when I compare my old plans to stay how we were to his plans for building our family through adoption. My plan is flat-out laughable guys, and quite frankly, for me now having my two kids is a bit sad. My life has expanded everything means more because of them. Just everything is just better. Everything's more meaningful. Is it hard? Heck, yeah. Are there days that I'm like, get me out of here? I need time alone away from the fussing and the kids and the noise and this and that. Heck, yes, I might more than some other people because I'm an extreme introvert and I get very stimulated very easily. When there's a lot of noise and things happening and it is true. It wears on me. But that does not change how much better my life is with these kids. Oh my gosh, they're amazing. They're ours. They're making life more worthwhile. They make life more fun. Do they make life harder? Heck yeah. But do they make it more fun to absolutely, I was ready to take this entire lifetime and never experienced being a mom? And honestly, I probably wouldn't have known the difference. I will didn't have. But I was ready to take this entire lifetime and never experienced being a mom. I was ready to never see my husband be a dad. And He's amazing. He's built for Daddyhood. He really is. And now that I look back, Wow, just wow. Another way that God showed us that his plans are better is that once we decided to pursue adoption, we had no intention guys of adopting more than one child, no intention of adopting more than one child. But again, God knew better. He knew that Abigail and Bennett were meant to be together. When we got that email from Casey, our kid's birth mom asking if we would adopt our daughter's full biological sibling, we were in shock. No one. But God could have arranged something like this. We plan to stay our little family three, but he had bigger better plans. And now we couldn't imagine not having been it. Oh my gosh, we couldn't even imagine God's plans are better to think that if I'd been left to my own plans, I would have missed all of this. And all that's yet to come. Wow. Just wow. I still marvel at the fact that so many of us spend so many years trying to control everything and trying to dictate everything in our lives, versus really just taking a moment to listen to God to be in His presence and say, What do you want from me and try to lay our own plans down, it is hard, I resisted. It's hard. But man, when we do that, oh my gosh, guys, his plans are so much better. We hold on so tightly to what we think is best. We really think we've got it figured out. And we know that this is what's comfortable. This is what's good. This is what's better. Oh my gosh, get the heck out of your comfort zone. Because that's where the good stuff happens. Get out of your comfort zone. That is where the good stuff happens. That's where you live and don't just exist, that's where life becomes real, where life really begins. I hope that I can forever just cling to telling God fill me with what you want for me because I know what's better than what I want. And I still go back to my old ways of thinking I know better. And this is more comfortable. And this is how it should be. But man, man, I pray that for you guys, and for myself and my family that we would get out of that, that we would want what God wants because again, it is better.
Okay. Number three, family is so much deeper than blood. Adoption teaches you that family is so much more than blood, I might as well have given birth to my children. And when I say that I am in no way discounting their first mom, their birth mom, she's amazing. We love her. They wouldn't be here without here. But they would and they wouldn't be ours if she hadn't chosen us. What I mean is that my kids are more like my family than my blood family. They are I have people in my blood family that, unfortunately, I don't have much of a relationship with at all all this to say family is so much more than blood. It really is.
Number four, I can do hard things. And so can you as much as I love being a mom, it is not always easy. Some days, it is downright hard. Before adoption. I didn't have other humans depending on me for survival. Guys, come on, you know, if you have little kids, they can't make it on their own. They kind of need us right? Of the five things that cover this might be the biggest having two kids just 18 months apart? Well, let's just say for me, it has its fair share of challenges at times. But one lesson I've learned is I can do hard things. You know what I'd go as far as to say I was built to do hard things, again, that's where the good comes in. I thrive in a good challenge. And kids are one challenge there one hard thing that is completely worthwhile. That's it, they're worthwhile, so worthwhile.
And number five, adoption is a blessing. You may have already gathered this from the other four points I covered. But adoption is a blessing like nothing else. I love my crazy kids so much. And I can't imagine life without them. And beyond how much I love them and what a blessing they are. adoption has opened my eyes to the world outside of my little bubble. I was stuck in my own little bubble for so long. Aside from two amazing kids to care for. We have a relationship with their birth mom, that's really important to us. She has helped me see how selfless someone can be probably more than anyone I know, more than anyone I know to give birth to two perfect babies and realize that the best decision you can make is to allow someone else to raise them and to be their parents. That's deep stuff, guys. She's more selfless than I could ever be. She really is. It's amazing. Adoption is a blessing in so many ways. Another way I've learned how much of a blessing adoption is is in you listening to me right now, adoption is a blessing because it changed my heart. It gave me a mission like nothing I've ever had it put a fire under me to share adoption with others. I have not stopped talking about adoption, even when no one is listening or when it feels like no one is listening, because there's always someone listening. But sometimes it feels like there's no one listening, this little podcast I have right now. I know you guys, some of you guys are my faithful listeners, and I love you guys. But this little podcast I have right now I seriously believe God is gonna use for great things, not for me not to bring attention and glory to me for him and his heart for adoption. When he told me to start this whole for the love of adoption thing. I didn't even know what I was going to do. I had no idea was going to start a podcast, this is all him. This is not me. This is all him. I'm saying these words right now. Because God made it clear that he blessed me with adoption, not just so I can enjoy the family I have, but so I would share it with others. So I would share what I've learned with others. If I can go from no desire for kids, no money to afford adoption to a mom blessed by adoption, sharing this message knowing God is going to make this bigger, I already know that I know it, without doubt, the least I can do is help you guys, if you are someone that wants to adopt is considering adoption is going through the adoption process has adopted, I hope you come across something on my podcast that sparks something in you or that you share it with somebody you know, and it helps them to look into or move forward with adoption. And if you do, if you find something worthwhile here, and you can share it with someone, you can leave me a review. All that does is help more people hear this, it encourages more people toward adoption, or at least helps them become more educated in adoption so that they can be more supportive of others on this journey. Because I can tell you right now, guys, I can tell you right now, adoption is a blessing. And it's so worth it. These are just five of the things that I've learned since adopting my two amazing kids. And I'm sure I can't imagine how many more lessons God will teach me and he's already taught me so many more.
This was just the top five I wanted to share today. But here I am. I'm ready to grow. I'm ready to learn. I'm ready to share with you guys what I know and share with you as I learn more. So I really hope you found this encouraging today. Thanks so much for listening in today. And did you know that I offer a full library of free resources to help you along on your adoption journey, just go to for the love of adoption.com and scroll to the bottom of the homepage. You'll be able to access all kinds of PDFs there to help you along different stages of your adoption journey. And if you've enjoyed this at all, if you could please leave me a review and rating it helps more than you know. Talk to you next time.
