Joy talks about taboo territory like incest porn, being HSV-2 positive, and trying out "water sports." She has early memories of non-consensual experiences, which led to weak boundaries and a tendency towards dissociation and passivity. A hysterectomy and genital changes further changed her body and libido. She's always enjoyed masturbation and has been unpartnered for some time; she's ready to explore again.
Joy is a 44-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, monogamous, bisexual. She is post-menopausal and has had ovarian cancer and a full hysterectomy. She describes her body as pear-shaped and wears hearing aids.
- Joy shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, cuddling with a pillow between her legs and then starting a relationship with her bathtub.
- Joy lost her virginity at age 14; she considers herself to have given consent but she also knows she dissociated, and remembers staring at a blooming tree out the window. There were indications of earlier trauma.
- She talks about a girlfriend she sometimes fooled around with, and a series of physical interactions in which she was not fully present and struggled with boundaries.
- Joy comes out to her father as bisexual.
- She finally experiences pleasure with a sort of friend who offers benefits. She feels passive at the beginning, but then she starts to really enjoy the sex.
- The relationship ends, and she has a few hookups. Unfortunately, she contracts herpes after one exchange. She opens up about how she managed it in subsequent relationships; she has both disclosed her status, and not disclosed her status. It's a hard conversation.
- Her most recent past relationship was pretty vanilla. The longer one before involved some kink exploration, including "water sports."
- She has a long-distance relationship with an older man; it doesn't end well. There hasn't been anyone since, just frequent masturbation. She'd been content alone until listening to the podcast and starting to wonder.
- Joy went through ovarian cancer a few years ago and she had to have a full hysterectomy. She talks about how it has impacted her body. One of the things she experienced was genital restructuring. Her orgasms and arousal have changed.
- They talk about how to be more present in one's body.
Resources:
Update:
Since this episode was released, the podcast has concluded. Here's how you can find me now:
EPISODE CREDITS:
Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco
Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak