Kay is our youngest guest yet, and she lets us in on how her generation is exploring sex differently because they’re the first with easy access to p*rn. She has dated people of multiple genders, and realized she loves all bodies. Despite her young age, Kay has already learned hard lessons about toxic relationships, trust, and consent.
Kay is an 18-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as Black, pansexual, monogamous, and in a relationship. She grew up Catholic and describes her body as full.
Bookmark moments:
- 5:34 - Kay shares her first memory of sexual pleasure, when her peers in 6th grade were watching porn. It was her closest thing to a learning experience before trying things like handjobs and blowjobs.
- 9:55 - Kay “sort of” came out as bi in 7th grade, and then discovered she liked trans people too. She went to a Catholic school with genders separated and describes girls kissing in class. As they get older, school culture turns anti-gay.
- 14:40 - Sex Ed in school was brief biology, everything she already knew. Her first kiss was a dare on IG live with her best friend. It becomes her first relationship, which has its struggles.
- 18:00 - Kay talks about suicidal thoughts that both she and her girlfriend worked through.
- 25:30 - Kay lives with her mom; her mom found out about her dating girls after seeing her phone but didn’t take issue with it. Kay wishes for more open conversation around sex.
- 31:03 - She meets a boy. He’s not a friend first, and after the honeymoon phase it doesn’t go well, but lasts for two toxic years. He verbally abuses her about her appearance and cheats on her.
- 38:20 - Kay describes a painful loss of virginity experience. Our culture says this is normal, but Leah does some myth-busting on what is actually normal and how this experience can and should go down.
- 47:41 - Kay talks about her current relationship. She’s had her first orgasm! But sometimes he doesn’t stop when she tells him to. This includes unwanted touching.
- 55:27 - They talk about how Kay’s generation is the first with easy access to porn, and what messages are being gleaned.
- 1:01:30 - They talk about masturbation. Kay started around 4th
- 1:03:03 - The Lowdown: Kay answers questions about sex during periods, STI’s, birth control, number of sex partners, dating outside your race, toys, positions, initiating sex, being active vs passive, clit stimulation vs penetration, breast play, achieving and faking orgasms, solo vs partnered sex, kinds of touch, rough play, safety protocols specific to choking, one’s partner masturbating alone or watching porn alone, blowjobs, swallowing, hair vs bare, group sex, ass play, kink desires, dirty talk, laughter, confusing sexual urges, favorite body part, least favorite body part, areas to improve sex life, and correcting old beliefs.
Resources:
Feminist porn – PLEASE PAY FOR YOUR PORN!
Patreon:
All archived Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now available for FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
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EPISODE CREDITS:
Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria Franco
Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak
