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Show Notes
The Next three agreements are born from the first agreement.
Don’t take anything personally!
Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally.This is easier said than done. As humans we take everything personally.If we remember back to the 1st agreement… if I walk up to someone on the street and call them stupid that is on me, not them.If someone says the same to us and you take it personally it’s because you agree with what the person has said and as soon as you agree the poison goes through you and you are trapped in the dream of hell.What cases us to become trapped is called Personal Importance or taking it personally.This is the maximum expression of selfishness because we assume everything is about me.Even if someone ran up to you on the street and shot you that has nothing to do with you. That is on them. They don’t know you. They are obviously dealing with some issues, but it has nothing to do with you.During our upbringing we learn to take everything personally. Everything revolves around us. Me, me, me!Nothing anyone does if because of you. It is always because of them.Everyone lives in their own dream. They live in a completely different world.When we take something personally we assume they know what’s in our world.Even when a situation seems very personal and someone insults you directly, it has nothing to do with you.What they say, what they do, and the opinions they have are all based on their agreements. Their point of view comes from their upbringing.Even if someone gives you their opinion… (that is all it is, their opinion) and say, “you look fat” Do Not Take It Personally.That person is obviously dealing with something themselves and they are trying to send you emotional poison. If you take it personally then it becomes yours.Taking things personally makes you an easy target for these kinds of peopleHowever, if you don’t agree with it and do not take it personally then you become immune to this kind of garbage and the hell that comes with it.Immunity to poison and the hell it creates is the gift of this agreement.When you take things personally you will feel offended, and your natural reaction will be to defend yourself based on your beliefs.You make something big out of something so little because you have to be right and everyone else has to be wrong and so you start giving your opinions.Remember your opinions are from your personal dream and your agreements. They have nothing to do with the other person, so stop trying to spread them.Say to yourself “It is not important what you think about me, and I don’t take what you think personally.”I don’t take it personally when someone says, “you’re the best” and I don’t take it personally when you say, “you’re the worst”. I just know that when people are happy they tend to say nice things and when they are angry then tend to say mean things. Neither are of my concern.I know what I am and that is all that matters to me!I don’t take it personally. Whatever you think, whatever you feel, I know that is your problem and not mine. It is the way you see the world. It is not personal because you are dealing with yourself and not me.If someone’s words do truly hurt you it is not the words they have said to you. It is because you have an unresolved wound that you need to work on. Their words did not hurt you, what it stirred up inside you.Anyone’s opinions are based on their truths or agreements they have made. Not yours, so if someone gets mad at you it is on them and has nothing to do with you.People get mad because they are afraid and dealing with fear. If you are not afraid hate, jealousy and sadness slip away.If you live without fear there is no place for these emotions to build up and if you don’t let these emotions take root you will feel good. All the time!Everything will make you happy and you will love everything around you. BECAUSE YOU LIKE THE WAY YOU ARE!!
Good place to remember these agreements are not easy. You can’t just say you are going to be impeccable with your word and never take anything personally. You have to work at it every day. And when you fail you just get up and try again. Eventually it will become second nature.
Gossip has always driven me crazy. I have friends who I feel gossip all the time and I know I have told others about how much these people gossip and that it drives me crazy. Now let that sink in. This is not easy.
Whatever people do, feel, or say, don’t take it personally. They are not saying that because of you. Either way, you already know how wonderful you are.Even the opinions you have about yourself are not necessarily true, so don’t take whatever you hear in your own mind personally either.Your mind has the ability to talk and listen to itself.Problem is that overtime you have made thousands of agreements that are not compatible with each other.This is called the Mitote.The Mitote is the reason humans Harley ever know what they want.
DQ story
My daughter always says she is going to get something new at DQ
We wait in the line until we finally are in front of the mic
And she orders a cookie dough/Reese’s’ Blizzard
Too many voices fighting in her head.
You need to take inventory over all the agreements you have made with yourself and discard the ones that you no longer agree with.Also, the ones that you still agree with, but you know are based out of fear and are making you miserable.By practicing the 2nd agreement, you will begin to break dozens of agreements that cause you to suffer.When we start seeing others as they are without taking their opinions personally we no longer can be hurt by what they say or do.Even if they lie that is okay, it is because they are afraid you will discover they are not perfect.You know to not listen to their lies and that no one is perfect.If someone continues to treat you poorly it is a gift if they walk away from you.If you don’t take anything they say personally and do not let it bother you they will walk away.That may hurt for a while, but you will heal and be better off.When you make the 2nd agreement a habit you will find that nothing can bring you down to the depths of hell.There is a huge amount of freedom that comes from not taking anything personallyThe whole world can gossip about you, but you are immune.Someone can intentionally try to hunt you, but you will shrug it off and that poison becomes worse within the sender.Eventually they will walk away. They cannot take not being right and you not agreeing with them. (How many people do you know like this)?To summarize when you make a habit of not taking anything personally you never need to place trust in what other people say. You only need to trust yourself. You are not responsible for others actions. You are only responsible for you.
Don’t make assumptions
I feel this is very closely tied to not talking anything personally.When we take things personally we are making assumptions of what that person is trying to say.We tend to make assumptions about everything!When you get cut off in traffic or see someone weaving in and out of traffic we instantly think it is because that person is a dick or an asshole.Could it be they just found out a loved one has been in an accident?
Bemidji Bike trail
The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are true.We make assumptions of what other people are thinking.We then take it personally and react based on our assumptions by spreading poison.We end up creating drama for nothing.The whole war of control between humans is based on making assumptions and taking things personally. Our dream is completely based on that. This almost always leads to gossip.Take back your control by eliminating making assumptions and taking things personally.
You can see how important these two things are in creating a happy dream. You can also see how unbelievably hard this can be. You need to actively work on doing this and it is not going to be easy. Over time it will get much much easier once you see how much happier you are.
SO much of us making assumptions is because we are afraid to ask for clarification. Instead, we believe what we assume is correct and prepare to defend it to death.Remember your head is full of chaos and agreements you have made overtime and because of this you believe your assumptions are correct and you remember them as fact.We only see what we want to see, and we only hear what we want to hear.Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see.You should be able to believe most of what you see, but because we love to assume, and our assumptions have to be correct this is not the case at all.Person you like walking in the mall stops and smiles at you.This leads to all kinds of assumptions because you saw it.Making assumptions in personal relationships is asking for all sorts of troubleOften we assume our partners knows what we think and that we do not need to say what we want.Instead, we don’t say what we are thinking, and we defend ourselves by saying “you should have known.”I asked my daughter and wife to read this book. I could have just told them what I had learned from it and why I thought it was so important, but I assumed if they read it they would love it the same way I did, and they too would take away a happier life.That being said I do think this is a great book for a 13-year-old. However hard you think this is to complete in your life I can only assume it is 10 times harder for a teenager, but the sooner you start the easier it will be to make these changes.Maybe you have been dating someone for a while and you decide to finally get married.Usually this is because you assume your partner sees marriage/life the same way you do.What if once you start living together you find out this is not truce?This will create a lot of conflict,
