In this week's episode, Dr. Venus goes in on what it means to love Black Men who wear the wounds of White Supremacy, Slavery, Bigotry, and Racism like emotional armor. She sets the historical and emotional context between White Supremacy and Black Masculinity, and why understanding the dance between these two can help Black Men and Women relate and care for one another. Dr. Venus then discusses how Black Women can hold space for Black Men in a way that is protective, supportive, and real.
Key Takeaways:
[3:39] Dr. Venus opens the show with a reading of her poem, "Please", which explores what it means to love a Black Man that wears the wounds of history like armor.
[6:15] There is a historical wound in Black Men that is rooted in the history of White Supremacy, from 1619 to 2020. This shapes how they relate and react to Black Women and the people that love them.
[7:01] In the plantation household with Chattel slavery, there were four players: Master (White Man), Mistress (White Woman), Maid (Black Woman), and Slave (Black Man). That institution was rooted in survival, and because the White Slave Owners were outnumbered, there was always this unspoken fear of an uprising. This made White people even more vicious, which is something we are seeing today in this time of growth and upheaval.
[8:26] White Supremacy is an ideology and power dynamic to try and keep Black people in a lower social position so that white people can feel superior and alive. Black masculinity is the biggest threat to White Supremacy.
[10:18] Black Men look for their self worth and identity in Providing, Protecting, and Procreating. Their sense of self is centered outside of their own sense of self, looking to the world around them, including their wife or partner. Falling short in these categories can mean he feels like a failure, instead of looking at the faulty structure in the institution.
[18:59] When a Black Woman feels like she is not heard, she may get loud or need to have the last word. The more she speaks up, the more he feels like she is talking down. Black Women have historically been unheard and taken care of. This can look like a betrayal and set off a feeling of being triggered over past and ingrained trauma.
[25:08] White Supremacy has impacted Black Men in a way that is different from Black Women. The most violated, abused and tormented in human history is the Black Male body.
[26:50] Instead of quickly reacting or becoming angry, we can empathize that Black Men have not had the time and space for much self-reflection. We can create a safe space for Black Men to tell the truth without judgment or condemnation, request, or demand.
[29:42] We have a gender bias against Black Men, expecting them to take care of us when they have never been taught. If we provide a safe space, they can learn and begin to heal.
Quotes:
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