Mark Introduces the topic for this episode - Traditions. He contextualizes it as connected to worldview as traditions are often cultural. The guys arrived at the topic talking about Jim’s annual high school football team barbecue he holds at his house and has for 17 years in a row
Jim also connects it to our childhood where our worldview begins to form
Jim shares his appreciation for what the football program did for him. He thinks that without football it
Very easily could have been bad - prison like his two cousins
He goes on to tell the story of how it all started - an incredible story
And a book called “The Season Of Life” which spoke to the issue of building men for others
Tradition, continuity , belonging and creating an environment to thrive
Jim talks more about how successful the program has been now that many former players have come back to coach and participate
And how beneficial the whole program has been in the wider circle of people who are touched by the program
Mark supports the notion of tradition and real masculinity…not toxicity. Way more than just football
Jim talks about the timing and the spirit and the excitement. It brings everyone together for a common cause
Mark talks about how men are shaped at an early age. Good choices or bad choices. The importance of a mentor and how difficult life is without one
Jim shares his perspective of living in a 1% area and driving to the 99% area and the difference in access to resources and support. He shares his appreciation for learning how to compete
Then he talks about how this competitiveness is helpful in life in general. Unity and camaraderie
50% divorce rate and how many boys grow up without a father…how important the football coach becomes in that situation
Jim thinks we’ve forgotten young men and even emasculated them
Mark agrees that Jim’s life could have really gone south
Jim talks about how many different roles there are in making this tradition stick and then flourish
He then talks about the importance of belonging to something
Mark talks about pushing back on human nature and how important it is to NOT do that, particularly in regard to masculinity
Jim talks about the goal of the program and shares stats on graduation rates and the trouble that creates. Kids that participate in sports graduate at much higher rates
He’s preparing young men for the last whistle and the last bell. We’re not preparing them for life
Mark talks about his career and coaching his own kids after high school. Then he brings up Mike Rowe and the trades
Jim reflects on his high school graduation and the massive shift and void
Mark shares his high school experience in contrast to Jim’s. Winning and losing is infectious/contagious
Jim tells his “Nobody runs on Hayward” story
Mark talks about his family tradition around military and fighter pilots
Mark puts Jim’s program in perspective of how impactful it is
Jim shares the two messages he delivers to the kids at the barbecue. Showing up and “no rules” no incident speech. The power of trusting and empowering back. The following morning his talk is about showing up and being prepared and “Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better”. Boys blame others, men take responsibility. Be so good they can’t ignore you. It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you respond to what happens to you
Mark appreciates the work and Jim talks about how deep these relationships have grown
Jim feels that the best players aren’t always the most successful. It’s the second stringers
Mark thinks the more talented you are, the less likely you are to work hard
Belonging, routine, structure, hierarchy and honor. If you don’t get this in one place, you’ll find it somewhere else. He mentions gangs
Mark encourages listeners to seek out opportunities to help young men
Jim brings up Scott Galloway and his work with young men
Mark mentions example of places to go to help young men
Jim recommends the progress and trust are built up over time. What you can do immediately is help the coaches. Thank them. Bring a team meal. Little gestures go a long way
Mark shares his experience working with homeless kids for three years
You might even get more out of the experience than the kids
Jim ends with leaving the public side of this work and went off the radar
Mark says your efforts need to be authentic to be effective
