In which our protagonist goes away to boarding school and beings dating women and framing kleptomaniacs for theft (which is easier than you'd think). Also, someone is defecating in the showers, and since this is not a David Sedaris story, you can be pretty sure who it isn't.
For show notes, check out http://www.crookedtreehouse.com/11/post/2014/05/slow-flashes-4-welcome-home-sanitarium.html