Description
It’s awards time. Dave Meltzer carried the torch for so many years, but the elders have ruled that he doesn’t look sloppy enough any more to be the voice of record. With this in mind, Karl and Michael have bravely stepped into the fold to give out the only recognition worth getting in wrestling these days.
Awards include:
Best disguise
Grimmest appearance
Woman of the year
Most disappointing finishing move for a man with huge tits
Best exploitation of an oft-terminal medical condition for crass financial gain
Best 1920s odd couple tag team
Best ad-libs
Best enormous salmon-pink formal attire
Worst creative
Most enjoyable racist tag team or stable
Sexual predator turned WWE colour commentator of the year
Greatest disappointment
Rob Van Dam
Best economics
Worst kind of currency
Best standard
Best Irish wrestling podcast
Best call
Best thing in WWE this year
Best wrestler named for a rude adjective
Most serious indie wrestling promotion with no jokes, just wrestling and lots of mean faces
Professional wrestling promotion most lost in space and time
Least fucks given
And of course:
Promotion of the year
PPV of the year
Match of the year
Wrestler of the year
Along the way, we also take in the entire history of the ‘Big Gold Belt’ and whether WWE has the right to imply it carries the NWA’s title legacy, Vince McMahon’s inflatable suit, the entire TLC pay per view, communing with the spirit of Pat O’Connor through Irish alive-dead chat forums, the missed opportunity in not bringing shoot-almost-dead Jerry Lawler back as worked-dead Jerry Lawler, libertarian eschatology and how Japan is the great hope of this thing we do.
INCIDENTAL MUSIC:
Bushido, Fler & Kay One - Die Ganze Galaxie
Gucci Mane - When I Was Water Whipping (Instrumental, prod. Lex Luger)
TLC - No Scrubz
Minutemen - #1 Hit Song
E-40 feat. T-Pain - Serious
Joe Esposito - You’re The Best Around (Prince Devitt’s theme)