FORGIVENESS
Introduction
Isa 53v6 - “All of us like sheep have strayed away. We have left God’s path to follow our own. Yet the Lord laid on Jesus the sins of us all”
Mark 11v25-26 – “…If you have anything against anyone forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your sins.
But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive you your sins”
Some of the experts tell us that in the western world two of the biggest health problems are 'Unforgiveness' and 'Worry'.
Because of the death of Jesus on the Cross God forgives us our sins, we receive salvation, and become His child.
But if we want God to go on forgiving us when we sin - then we need to forgive others - and remember to forgive ourselves.
We also need to make forgiveness a lifestyle, because this keeps our soul prosperous, and when our soul is prosperous God can bless us.
“Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things, and be in health, just as your soul prospers” (3 John 1v2)
Forgiveness - a key to healing and freedom
A Personal Testimony
“When I came to understand about forgiveness and put it into practice in my life, I began to realise how much anger, unforgiveness, and resentment had hindered my relationship with God and with people. I also saw how it had affected me physically.
As I saw incidents in my life where people had hurt me and I was enabled to forgive them, I became freer as a person.
This also resulted in me beginning to receive healing from arthritis which had begun to affect my fingers and toes”.
Judgement is a form of unforgiveness
We are warned in the Gospels not to judge, or we will be judged. In fact the very thing we judge people on comes back upon us, and in a greater measure (Math 7v1-5 Luke 6v37-42). We have activated the law of sowing and reaping, which can be a blessing or a curse (Gal 6v7).
When we judge someone we have moved beyond having an opinion, to being negative and critical about a person’s behaviour. As children, teenagers, and adults, we can make judgements, particularly about our parents, which can lie dormant for years, and then bring forth a negative harvest later in life. This goes against the biblical command to “honour your parents that all may go well with you and that you may live long on the earth” (Eph 6v2-3).
How can we know if we have judged others? If there’s fruit there’s a root!
If we have a negative pattern of behaviour in our lives which we cannot seem to break free of, even although we want to, there’s probably a root of judgement somewhere.
The first place to check out is our relationship with our parents.
If we recognise a negative pattern of behaviour in our lives, which was also in theirs, then this is probably the root. If not our parents, we can ask God to show us who. Then there needs to be forgiveness:-
• Ask God to forgive you for judging your parents/others.
• Forgive your parents/others and release them.
• Take responsibility for your behaviour in this area – repent and ask for forgiveness – and forgive yourself
• Put the cross between yourself and the law of sowing and reaping in this particular area.
What forgiveness doesn’t mean
Understanding what forgiveness doesn’t mean may help us:
• It isn’t saying that the other person was right
• It isn’t saying that what the other person did doesn’t matter
• It does not necessarily mean that we have to restart a relationship with that person
• It does not mean that we automatically trust the person again and allow them into our life to hurt us again
• It does not mean that we don’t prosecute the person if they have injured us or stolen from us. Although we are to forgive them sometimes we also need to bring the person to the law of the land
Taking responsibility
Maybe you feel the other person is responsible for what happened?
When adults relate to other adults, we must all take responsibility for what happens and own up to our part, however small, in the breaking up of a relationship. God calls any unforgiveness in our own hearts ‘sin’.
When an adult does something to a child the child is never to blame. The adult alone is responsible, especially for abuse.
The example of Jesus on the cross
Because of His great love for us all, God gave us His Son, Jesus.
Jesus, despite our sin - and long before we were sorry - went to the cross for us, and bore our sins and sicknesses, so that we could go free.
He didn’t demand that we were sorry first, but said as they drove the nails into His hands, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do”.
As humans we can sometimes forgive in a conditional way (I'll forgive you if...).But we need to forgive in God’s way – which is unconditionally!
Forgiveness is not an option
It is essential for:
• A close walk with God
• Close loving relationships
• The health of our spirit, soul, and body
What do I do if forgiving seems impossible?
What if the hurt is just so deep that you feel you can’t, or don't want to, forgive? Remember that God knows your heart. He knows the pain of your hurt. He understands. Remember that His forgiveness is unconditional. He made no demands.
Staying in unforgiveness:
• Chains you to the other person
• It is a burden – a weight on your back - and affects your health
• It poisons you – not the other person (root of bitterness)
• You will keep returning to that moment of hurt, re-living it, and deepening the wound
• You are held frozen in a moment of time
• You cannot go forward freely into the future
The way out of unforgiveness
1. Receive God’s forgiveness for yourself
1. Come to God and confess your unforgiveness as a sin
2. Repent of holding unforgiveness towards others
3. Receive God’s forgiveness for yourself – and forgive yourself
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1v9).
2. Make the decision to forgive the people who hurt you
Just do it – speak it out.
“I forgive you…… (name) for…… (say what they did)”
3. Now stand firm
Sometimes we can forgive and it never troubles us again. But if we are living in a situation that constantly reminds us of the hurt we may be tempted to take it back. Every time these thoughts rise up:
• Pray for the person who hurt you
• Ask God to bless them
• Do something kind for them if possible
Finally
Choose forgiveness as your lifestyle!
