"I think in society we should be asking everyone all the time "aren't you grateful to be alive?" Just in general. So I think it's unfair that society often spins a question on adoptees of that they need to have some sort of obligation to feel gratitude."
Meet Jordan
"My name is Jordan. I was adopted from Cambodia. I'm a transracial adoptee, um, adopted by two moms. I use she/her pronouns and I identify as pansexual."
Here's some of what we talked about:
- Her early history of one of her adoptive moms passing away 7 months after her adoption.
- The separation anxiety that came from losing her birth parents and then an adoptive parent.
- The pressure she experienced from the "chosen" adoptee narrative
- How she feels about her original name being taken away
- What she wishes she knew about her history
- Her internal push/pull about whether to do a birth search
- Navigating her multiple intersecting identities
- Learning about attachment theory and how it relates to her own story
- A deep dive on what her parents got right and didn't get right
- Being in therapy has been helpful in processing her story and healing
Annie's take-aways for adoptive parents:
- As much as we adoptive parents can document about our kid's history, it may be very valuable later
- Jordan's push/pull of both wanting information and also needing to go at her pace
- I feel grateful that Jordan shared such precious stories from her life
Katelyn's take-aways for adoptees:
- What I love about my conversation with Jordan is that it highlights how adoption is a life-long journey and process. Jordan shared stories from different ages and stages of her life and we had the opportunity to get a snapshot into her into thoughts and feelings about how adoption was impacting her at the time.
- Additionally, I'm thankful for the both/and, the contradictions, confusion, unknowns and questions Jordan has about her adoption. Her story isn't wrapped up into a neat bow.
- I think that's really beautiful. Jordan's story highlights the never-ending journey and continued conversation that is adoption.
