Many people think perfectionism is about ambition or high standards. But for people with anxious attachment, perfectionism can be something else entirely: a strategy for protecting connection.
In this episode of Divergent Paths, Dr. Regina McMenomy, Ph.D., explores the powerful link between anxious attachment and perfectionism, especially for late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults. When your nervous system is constantly scanning for signs of disconnection, getting everything “right” can start to feel like the safest way to keep relationships stable.
Dr. Regina shares personal stories about how anxious attachment can show up as over-performing, self-monitoring, and trying to prevent conflict before it happens. She also explores how ADHD, rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD), and years of masking can intensify this pattern.
If you’ve ever felt pressure to manage everyone else’s emotions, apologize first, or get things exactly right in order to feel secure in a relationship, this conversation will help you understand why.
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About Dr. Regina McMenomy, PhD
Regina is a neurodivergent coach and educator who helps late-diagnosed adults unmask, heal from burnout, and build lives aligned with how their brains work. She founded Divergent Paths Consulting to provide the type of coaching and support that late-diagnosed nerdy neurodivergent folks in educational leadership and tech fields need when they receive their late diagnoses.
