Description

Hey Hey Hey Universe.

You've caught me a bit offguard here. Excuse my mess. I'm celebrating mother's day this year the only way available - by making it all about me.

• And a little tiny bit about my mom.

To be fair, my mom up and ran to the Caribbean with my sister at 430 MST this morning so making today all about her seems a little out of place.

1. How would that even work?
2. Zoom call drinks & dinner?
3. Well if you're thinking...
4. "yeah... that probably wouldn't be worth doing after traveling all day like they did..." well...
5. You're in exactly the mindset I want you in.
6. You will "by default" skip out on this recording.
7. Like you were hypnotized.
8. And became a chicken.

Because let me tell you something mister buddy boy and miss goodie girl, this recording, this one right here now, this is the worst one yet.

So low is the bar set by this performance that I could even see it breaking us up. Forever.

Or at least put us on a long overdue break from each other - so that we can think about why we even need a Mother's Day holiday to celebrate.

Having already taken 100+ minutes to meander through that thistle patch I can relay to you that excursion got me nowhere.

• Nada.
• Zippo.
• Clue.
• Less.

Even now, after bulleting out that list I still have no clue why Mother's Day got invented - it doesn't make sense. We all love mom every day. It's a given. It's never a token gesture. Okay... it's rarely a token gesture. We all have our days.

Unless, you unpause and consider the 113 million greeting cards we Americans exchange in recognition of this cockamamie non-holiday made up event occasion that comes around every second Sunday in May.

• May.
• Be.
• That had something to do with it.

Amirite Hallmark?

1. Hell
2. Yes
3. I
4. Am.
5. Hell yes I am.

TensHUnsRye.ziNg

• Episode 8 of 53