Hosts Jessilyn and Brian Persson introduce the topic of agreements in this episode. Agreements, as defined by Jessilyn and Brian, are a negotiated course of action in relationships and they should cover any major decisions made by you and your partner. They are a key tool in aiding communication and avoiding conflict.
The three main points that Jessilyn and Brian lay out in Part 1 of their talk on agreements are 1) have an agreement for all major decisions, 2) have an agreement for who is responsible for what decisions, and 3) have an agreement on when and how to communicate. They give detailed examples of how each point works in their own relationship to aid in communication and ease in negotiating household and business demands. Agreements, however, shouldn’t become set in stone so that they begin to affect the partnership negatively. Jessilyn and Brian also talk about flexibility and returning to their Discover Define Design framework to ensure agreements continue to serve your relationship as they were intended to.
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Transcript
Jessilyn Persson: [00:00:09] Welcome to the Life by Design podcast with your hosts, Jessilyn and Brian Persson. We work with professional couples to help resolve conflict and elevate communication within their relationship.
Brian Persson: [00:00:18] We are the creators of the Discover Define Design Framework, which supports you in resolving conflict and communicating better.
Jessilyn Persson: [00:00:26] This week our topic is on agreements. This is part one of two series. So, agreements. Brian, what are agreements?
Brian Persson: [00:00:35] Yeah, agreements are a negotiated course of action. In our case, we're talking about relationships. So it is negotiated between a partner and a spouse. And to give you a quick example of like an agreement that we've created, it is with driving. With driving, it has to do with you driving in the city because you have motion sickness if I drive, um, not because I'm a crazy driver, but because you just react and I drive on the highways for all the long vacations and trips that we go on. That's a typical agreement that we've come into within our relationship.
Jessilyn Persson: [00:01:14] Yeah. One of many agreements. So in terms of agreements, I mean, there should definitely be an agreement for any major decisions you and your partner are having, right? Like buying a house or a car. Where are you going to go on vacation, if you plan on changing jobs or starting a company, starting a family is a huge discussion you should have. Is that, would you agree with that?
Brian Persson: [00:01:34] Yeah. Agreements are huge. They literally come into every part of your life everywhere you can imagine, you will find agreements. And the better that you can get at discovering those agreements, defining what they are, and then as our structure goes, Discover Define and Design, and design the new agreement, the better your relationship will get. Because once you have an agreement in place, there's no more unknowns. So whether it's a big decision or a little decision, agreements will always come to your rescue and save your relationship from any kind of conflict you might have.
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