Hosts Jessilyn and Brian Persson address the topic of accountability and how to reframe it so it doesn’t sound as threatening as we think it is. They define accountability and relate its importance to being responsible. In a relationship, accountability goes both ways, each partner must be accountable for their end of agreements they’ve not maintained. But in saying that, Jessilyn and Brian also explain why holding someone to account means also holding yourself to account.
The garbage story, Jessilyn and Brian’s “infamous” garbage story is used to demonstrate accountability. Jessilyn held Brian accountable for not taking out the garbage, but, upon reflection, realized that no structure or agreement had ever been put into place around the garbage. Through this example, they explain how accountability should be reframed as an examination of where communication failed and not as one person swinging an accountability stick at the other. They dig deep into reframing accountability so it becomes more accessible, less of a threat, and a very important part of defining a balanced and healthy relationship.
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Transcript
Jessilyn Persson: [00:00:09] Welcome to the Life by Design podcast with your hosts, Jessilyn and Brian Persson. We work with professional couples to help resolve conflicts and elevate communication within their relationship.
Brian Persson: [00:00:19] We are the creators of the Discover Define Design framework, which supports you in resolving conflict and communicating better.
Jessilyn Persson: [00:00:27] This week our topic is on accountability. Ooh, that's a word that can give you shivers. When you hear the word accountability, how does that make you feel?
Brian Persson: [00:00:37] Yeah, I think for most people it makes them feel maybe threatened, maybe a little bit accused, probably a little bit cornered, like, oh my God, I'm gonna get in trouble for something is generally, I think, how most people feel.
Jessilyn Persson: [00:00:51] Yeah, it invokes that, Oh, crap, what did I do now or what do I have to do kind of concept.
Brian Persson: [00:00:57] Yeah. Especially in a relationship, you know, it's like, oh my, oh my god, what's my partner, what's my what's my husband, my wife getting me in trouble for again?
Jessilyn Persson: [00:01:04] Yeah. What did I do this time? So what is accountability.
Brian Persson: [00:01:08] Accountability? Accountability is basically just to be answerable or liable for something that happened. So just some type of structure that says, hey, if something happens and it goes A or B way, then here are A or B responses for that.
Jessilyn Persson: [00:01:25] Fair enough. So why is accountability important?
Brian Persson: [00:01:29] Because if you are not accountable then you have no reason to be responsible.
Jessilyn Persson: [00:01:34] Fair enough. And responsibility is a lot of work.
Brian Persson: [00:01:39] Yeah, it can be. Yeah. There's also a lot of power, though, in responsibility.
Jessilyn Persson: [00:
