Jessilyn and Brian Persson talk about choice and choosing things in today’s episode. What is choice? It’s more than the option between two things. Brian explains that true choice is essentially the choice of whether or not we accept what we are given. This doesn’t mean we get to choose everything that happens to us, but we do have the choice to accept what happens and go with it instead of fighting it. How does that impact relationships and why does true choice offer such freedom?
Jessilyn and Brian talk through three main takeaways about choice: first, take ownership of our choices; second, not making a choice is still a choice; and third, choosing everything it is and everything it isn’t. When we make a choice, in a partner for example, we aren’t just choosing the things we like most about that person, we are also choosing the things we don’t like as much. We choose everything they are and everything they are not in equal measure. Jessilyn and Brian explain how the choice to accept things makes relationships healthier, fosters better connections, and lets us release societal imprints that cause us guilt or shame. Their insight into actively choosing what things we can control and what things we can’t provides a way through adversity into stronger unions and greater enjoyment of life.
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Transcript
Jessilyn Persson: [00:00:10] Welcome to the Life by Design podcast with your hosts Jessilyn and Brian Persson. We work with professional couples to help resolve conflict and elevate communication within their relationship.
Brian Persson: [00:00:20] We are the creators of the Discover Define Design framework, which supports you in resolving conflict and communicating better.
Jessilyn Persson: [00:00:27] Today we're going to talk about choice. Choosing. Everything that it is and everything that it isn't. So what do we mean when we say you have a choice?
Brian Persson: [00:00:37] So most people look at choice like the option between two things. But that's not really what true choice is. Choice for me and for you is basically the choice of whether or not you accept what you are given. So just to use a really common example, cancer is not necessarily like a choice. You would not say, hey, between getting cancer and not getting cancer, I'm totally choosing getting cancer. But you can get cancer. It's not something you want, but you can get it. And whether you choose cancer, when or if you get it, is really what we're talking about in choice.
Jessilyn Persson: [00:01:19] What do you mean by when you choose cancer? Because obviously you get cancer, you get it. It's just, it just happens. Right? And so now, uh oh, you got cancer. So now you're saying choose it. What do you mean?
Brian Persson: [00:01:34] Not resisting it. As in, in the terms of cancer, not obviously letting yourself die over it. No one wants that. But not being miserable, not being upset, not saying God, why did I get it? And just saying, hey, you know what, I got cancer. Let's deal with it as best as I can.
Jessilyn Persson: [00:01:53] Choose that you have it, accept that, and then choose from there how you want to move forward with it in terms of fighting it and do
