Tired of misunderstandings? Chip shares how to move past hurt feelings and start having genuine heart-to-heart conversations with your spouse today.
How to effectively communicate:
I. The command – Put on the proper attire -Colossians 3:12
- COMPASSION – Empathy to action vs. cynical -Matthew 9:36
- KINDNESS – Whatever is helpful, beneficial vs. critical -Jeremiah 9:23-24, John 4
- HUMILITY – Their needs first, posture of a servant -Philippians 2:5-11
- GENTLENESS – Strength under control, your emotions -Matthew 11:28-30
- PATIENCE – Endure with a good attitude -2 Peter 3:8-9
II. Why the “clothing” metaphor is crucial to biblical communication
- “Old clothes” must be taken off. -Colossians 3:8-9
- The new self requires “new clothes”. -Colossians 3:10-11
The Principle: Who we are determines how we “dress” (communicate from the heart)
III. The problem:
- We have settled for techniques and self-help tools to change how we speak, and to modify our emotions and behaviors to improve compatibility; rather than focusing on the deep-rooted transformation of our hearts which empowers us to give the life-giving love of Christ to our mates.
IV. The solution is threefold:
1. Don’t buy the old lies*
- I am what I have: Possessions
- I am what I accomplish: Performance
- I am what others think of me: Popularity
2. Dress appropriately for your mate
- A – AFFIRMATION
- W – WARMTH
- E – ENCOURAGEMENT
3. Have at least 2 “couples conferences” per week**
- What are you concerned about?
- What do you wish?
- What are you willing to do?
*Discover Your True Self bookand Affirmation Cards by Chip Ingram and Theresa Ingram.
**Marriage that Works by Chip Ingram.
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