Description

Hello and welcome, I’m Renée Valentina and this is Musing Interruptus. A podcast meant for sharing thoughts, stories, enjoying idiomatic phrases and words in general. You can read along; the transcription is in the description of this episode. The idiomatic expressions are in italics. Try to get the meaning from the context and then look them up to see if you were right. If you like it, share it, but more importantly, continue the conversation. Today, Dating According to Musing Interruptus. 

So you’ve decided to start dating, again. Maybe you are divorced, separated, in an open relationship or widowed. If you are married, you might think, being widowed is the only way you can date someone new. This is a bit dark, but I think, at least a few of you, might know what I mean. Lets focus on being ready to date -again- no matter what the circumstance. It's been two decades since your last date but you are ready. Things certainly have changed. There are apps where swiping is involved. The only thing you are used to swiping is your debit card at the supermarket, and you are just starting to get used to just touching the chip on the card to the pin-pad. Now you are faced with dating by proxy. You rely on an algorithm, with all that entails. Issues like, discrimination by proxy can affect your love life. The algorithm might be keeping you away from meeting the love of your life. It’s the robots against humankind! Robots! Then again, that’s life, isn’t it? However, the app might mitigate some of the issues that geography and demographics might naturally exacerbate. How many haven’t been brought together who otherwise may have never met? There are two sides of the story, at least. 

Forget the app, let's say you join a class. On you path to learning or perfecting something you love doing, you might meet like minded people or at least, you have an easy starting point to kick-off the conversation in a seemingly safe environment. I’d take a pottery class, not so much because I’m interested in vases, coffee mugs and ash trays, but because I have a very specific scene with a pottery wheel in mind. Conversation openers can be tricky and awkward, but, hey, can you pass the modeling clay?  is a great ice breaker and an Unchained Melody away from what seems to me, would be an epic reenactment. I might be getting ahead of myself. If the wheel it there… I say go for it. 

Perhaps you need to go on a few dates before metaphorically hitting the wheel. You are a romantic and believe in love. I promise you, there are more out there. You just have to patiently weed out the creeps and dull ones. I suggest going to the pottery class, or maybe a painting class, if you want to take it slow. Pass the red paint or the funky pouncer brush doesn’t necessarily elicit immediately getting naked. It might spark a conversation on the name of that brush… the funky pouncer brush. Although, the innuendo is there for the taking, you can side-step it and focus on shades of red, capturing light, and technique. A coffee or drink seems fitting after class. Don’t you think? You might go from —pass the crimson to pouring the Carmenere. After that, you get to know each other. 

Now you are sitting face to face. You might be tempted to talk about yourself, a lot. To let the other person know how wonderful and special you are. This is a matter of taste and personality. I think asking questions is a good technique. Furthermore, if people don’t ask questions back, you get a good sense of their interest and level of narcissism. Constructing the right questions can be crucial. You don’t want to be too transparent. Wanna be my daddy? Who’s your momma? might be too honest for a first date. That is more a third date conversation. Learning about their hobbies, passion projects, family, and work can be very interesting. Stay away from tax brackets and broken dreams.