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BREAKING: Are you sick and tired of having zero control over this podcast? Good news—those days are over! Now, you can send all complaints, questions, and topic suggestions to mailbox@neverbetter.show – give us a shout, and you might have something read aloud by one of the three most prominent goons of the age.

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You've tuned in to Never Better, a show that's never going to get any better. This week, Spencer, Michael, and Craig discuss tooth tricks, sautéed onions, bus humiliation, zebra poachers, hometown omens, and Michael's magical powers. Plus, Craig makes a bet that will either bankrupt him or earn him all the money in the world.