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You've just pressed the button that will - in mere milliseconds - release a swarm of hulking, venomous lizards upon the hapless hosts of Never Better, a show that never gets any better. It's all right, though. We earned it.

This week, Craig, Spencer, and eventually Michael discuss guinea pig awareness, ant experiments, movie secrets, and honesty's viability as the best policy. Plus, Craig recounts a high school encounter with a genuine weirdo.

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"Rock Lobster" by The B-52's ℗ 1979 Warner Records Inc, included in this week's episode under Fair Use protections for instruction.