In this episode, we explore how the deep desire to be “liked” and “accepted” can keep anxiously attached people stuck in self-abandonment, people-pleasing, and low self-worth.
Wanting to be liked often shows up as:
This pattern isn’t about weakness—it’s about a nervous system wired for safety through approval. The brain believes: If everyone likes me, I won’t be abandoned. But the cost is high.
The need to be liked leads to:
Ironically, trying to avoid rejection by abandoning yourself creates the very feelings you fear most: loneliness, anxiety, disconnection, and unworthiness. When you reject who you are, you teach your brain that you are the problem. Over time, this becomes the belief: “I am too much. I am not enough. I am unlovable unless I change.”
This creates an internal battle between:
Self-abandonment leads to self-rejection, and when you don’t believe you are lovable, it becomes impossible to feel truly loved—even when love is offered.
True healing begins when you question the story: “What if I don’t need to be different to be loved?” “What if being myself is safer than constantly performing?” “What if the people meant for me will stay when I am real?”
Not everyone will like you—and they never were meant to. The people who are for you will be the ones who can know the real you. Secure self-worth and unconditional self-love are built by:
When you stop living to be liked and start living in alignment, you no longer chase safety—you become it.
📩 Work With Me
You don’t have to do this work alone! ✨ Schedule a FREE 1-hour consultation → amberlynn@takingbackherbrain.com ✨ Join my 12-week coaching program to stop your anxious attachment cycle, build confidence, and finally feel secure in your relationships and life.
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Email me at Amberlynn@takingbackherbrain.com for a free one hour consultation
